IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Prisons are an expensive way of making bad people worse’ To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#prisons #people #worse’
Penitentiaries are a high-priced way to make criminal population even worse than they were before. In my opinion, there are some exceptions, but in most cases, after being in
such
 places members of society becomes angrier, more disrespectful, and withdrawn Resulting from remarkable differences in social tendencies, the situation where criminals lose their humanness, because of prisons where they every day work as a slave and do not learn something and
also
 nobody teaches them and tries to help these jailers with their psychological problems seems to have become more widespread. Some findings show that the reason, citizens do not want to give them
second
 chance, because in news everyone can see that jailers do not stop doing bad things after prisons. Whereas, nobody can disagree that it is extremely challenging to underestimate these. In either case, some researchers who believe that penitentiaries feed with disgusting food all criminals who in there and,
moreover
, punish them until bad people understand their mistakes would consider the abovementioned point of view doubtful. Highlighting the argument, it can be said that few numbers of jails are better than usual ones and the difference is the personnel of
such
 jails in which people live in really comfortable rooms, eat foods which were made by qualified chefs, and the main reason it is that prisoners work on their mistakes with professional psychologists, but unfortunately
such
 prisons can be found only in very wealthy countries.
Nevertheless
, it is important to take into account every aspect of each specific situation. To conclude, the former view is more sensible, because it follows from my own experience since I am a policeman, who knows how jails can impact on the vast majority of individuals
Submitted by Temirlan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: