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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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It is argued that the essential subject that
students
Use synonyms
 must learn in school is
History
Use synonyms
.
While
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 others have said that
instead
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 of
History
Use synonyms
, the world needs to study Science and Technology at present.
Firstly
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,
History
Use synonyms
 is about the past. Through the
History
Use synonyms
 subject, we know about our country, our ancestors, the stories that happened, and much more. It is an important thing for
students
Use synonyms
 so they can learn from the past. What should they keep up, what could they fix, and how to improve in the future?
For example
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, there is an
independence day
Correct your spelling
Independence Day
show examples
 in every country in the world. Learning
History
Use synonyms
 allows people to know what we are celebrating, the reason for the date, and which heroes are credited.
Moreover
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,
students
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 have the potential to increase their global knowledge,
such
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 as cultures, languages, and so on.
Conversely
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, in the digital era, some individuals think that
students
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 are better off learning digitalization,
such
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 as Science and Technology. The reason is that nowadays, many job opportunities require talent from a STEM background since technological developments.
Therefore
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, the
students
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 will have an essential skill for their careers.
In addition
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, these subjects account for the most innovations that will benefit humans and nature.
For instance
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, climate change is a major issue over the past period.
Hence
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, the scientists' proficiency is needed here to utilize or create new, proper tools to understand the factors behind
this
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 phenomenon. In conclusion, both subjects have an important impact.
History
Use synonyms
 teaches us about the journey of humans,
while
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 Science and Technology
result in providing
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
 tools for people and the earth.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, discussing both views and giving your opinion. However, offering more specific examples, particularly for history, can strengthen your argument. For instance, you could describe specific historical events that have provided valuable lessons.
coherence cohesion
To improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay, try using more transitional phrases and connectors to link your ideas smoothly. For example, words like 'furthermore', 'in addition', 'consequently', and 'on the other hand' can help guide the reader through your arguments more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates your opinion, giving a clear ending to the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is concise and sets up the discussion well.
task achievement
Your essay covers all parts of the prompt, discussing both perspectives and providing your own view.
task achievement
You effectively explain the relevance of Science and Technology in today's world and how they can address contemporary issues.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • comprehend
  • retrospect
  • gain insights
  • reflect on
  • sharpen
  • evaluate
  • significance
  • heritage
  • legacy
  • advent
  • breakthroughs
  • sustain
  • sustainability
  • revolutions
  • empowered
  • overcome
  • transform
  • advancements
  • collaboration
  • cooperation
  • diversity
  • fulfilling
  • promote
  • facilitate
  • prosperity
  • enhance
  • foster
  • foundation
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