IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

#parents #children #toys #child
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many
children
Use synonyms
 have an enormous amount of
toys
Use synonyms
 to play with.
This
Linking Words
 essay discusses the advantages and disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 situation. On
one
Use synonyms
 hand, having a large number of
toys
Use synonyms
 can bring several benefits to
children
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
one
Use synonyms
 child who has numerous options for entertainment will less likely become bored and is going to have an incredibly enjoyable childhood.
Secondly
Linking Words
, most of the
toys
Use synonyms
 nowadays are educational so the more
toys
Use synonyms
one
Use synonyms
 has the more they will learn. To illustrate, researchers have published studies about the importance of the
toys
Use synonyms
 in
children
Use synonyms
’s brain development, and the results show that the ones with access to an extensive variety of
toys
Use synonyms
 during their childhood presented the best performances in logical tests.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some drawbacks about having a huge amount of
toys
Use synonyms
.
One
Use synonyms
 of them is that
children
Use synonyms
 do not appreciate them as they should since they have too many options and they start to believe that
toys
Use synonyms
 are disposable. Another problem is that these
children
Use synonyms
 tend to face some problems in their adult lives because they were spoiled at home and do not understand that they will not always have what they desire, and most of the time
this
Linking Words
 reality is difficult to be accepted by them. To conclude, to have an extensive number of
toys
Use synonyms
 have its advantages and disadvantages. It provides a happier and more educative childhood,
however
Linking Words
,
also
Linking Words
 can make
children
Use synonyms
 do not enjoy their
toys
Use synonyms
 as much as they could and become a problematic adult.
Submitted by eduardamallmann on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: