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Band 4.5

It is common for people to travel long distances for work and study.Some argue that longer commute times negatively affect people while others disagree.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #travel #distances #work #study #argue #times
Its
Replace the word
It's
It is
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 mandatory for everyone to reach their workplaces and schools physically to make activities more effective.So,students and workers are used to with moving long journey
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 to reach their
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
.It is considered that commuting for a long period of
time
 has negative aspects on traveller
however
 some of the masses
takes
Change the verb form
take
show examples
 it in a positive way.
This
 essay will focus on many drawbacks rather than its few positive sides.
First
 and foremost,in
this
 21st era,every individual
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 limited
time
 with them.
This
 means
,
Remove the comma
apply
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they should complete several
task
Change to a plural noun
tasks
show examples
 in a fraction of
time
 in a proper way.If their
appartment
Correct your spelling
apartment
 is far away from their workplace or educational institute
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
,it will consume their quality
time
 which they could spend on their personal activities.
For instance
,students of the rural areas aren’t getting enough
time
for
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
 study due to the lack of schools in their locality.
On the other hand
,nowadays folks are
prefering
Correct your spelling
preferring
 to move abroad for
further
 study and overseas business because of their travelling passion.
In other words
,those who
wants
Change the verb form
want
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 to get rid of household matters are trying to move apart from their house to make themselves rejuvenated from their hectic routine.
This
 tendency in people is helping them to improve their mental as well as physical health.In our remittance dependent country,most of the population are found to be doing any sorts of activity in
f
Add an article
a
show examples
oreign country
instead
 there are many opportunities in their own homeland. In conclusion,it is more
time
 consuming for those having a little
time
 to commute far places for various purposes
however
 some people takes
l
Add an article
a
show examples
ong journey as a tour where they remain free from their household works.
Submitted by namunakarki23 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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