IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Human relationships can be affected by technology proliferation The technology development has affected social relationships from person to person. Do the positive aspects of this trend outweigh the negative aspects?

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Issues related to new
technology
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 are discussed these days. It is argued that human relationships have been affected by the enhancement of
technologies
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.
Although
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this
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 trend has some drawbacks, there are more benefits. The explanation will be shown in
this
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 essay. On the one hand, there are several merits of emerging
technology
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. The principal advantage is that
technologies
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 can lead
people
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 to communicate more effectively. Generally, most
people
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 have used
technologies
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;
such
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 as smartphones and the internet for communicating with others in the
last
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 decade. Since contacting these
technologies
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 are better than previous in terms of correcting and timing.
For instance
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,
people
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 can immediately call
a
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an
the
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mbulance in the emergency time whereas letters cannot. Another point is that
technology
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 allows us to enrich the quality of modern life. Due to
technology
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 improvement,
people
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 throughout the world can contact each other via the network.
As a result
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, it has a positive impact on the cost of transportation. A good case
in
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at
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this
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 point is that
people
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 living in Thailand can buy several things made in China by using AliExpress, a Chinese shopping application and directly chat with sellers. After that goods will send to their houses without going aboard.
On the other hand
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, there are a variety of demerits associated with upcoming
technology
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. The main drawbacks are that some
people
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 are suffered by using rapidly developed
technologies
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.
Furthermore
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,
although
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 everyone can access data thanks to social media, they should carefully consider information as some are unreliable.
For example
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, nowadays celebrities are facing with cyberbullying on online-platform. If they cannot deal with it, they can have a depressive disorder. Additional point is that cybercrime;
such
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 as internet fraud, has significantly increased over the recent years due to high-
technologies
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. A good example is that many
people
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 have deceived via Facebook as robbers use their fake profiles. All things considered, I am of the opinion that the benefits of developing
technologies
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 in terms of social relationships significantly outweigh the drawbacks.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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