IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that public libraries are no longer necessary because people can access information and books online. Others believe that public libraries are still important and should be funded by the government. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Public
libraries
Use synonyms
 are often a subject of debate, some arguing that offering them for free is a waste of public funds,
while
Linking Words
 others, including myself, believe they are essential and should be maintained at no cost to the public. In my view, free
libraries
Use synonyms
 provide crucial support to those who lack
resources
Correct article usage
the resources
show examples
 to
access
Use synonyms
 information
otherwise
Linking Words
.
Body paragraph 1
Critics argue that in an era where the
internet
Use synonyms
 is widely accessible, maintaining public
libraries
Use synonyms
 is an inefficient use of money. They contend that individuals with higher socioeconomic status can easily afford personal devices,
internet
Use synonyms
 connections, and books, making
libraries
Use synonyms
 redundant for their needs.
For instance
Linking Words
, a friend of mine never visited the library because he had all the resources,
such
Linking Words
 as the latest textbooks and fast
internet
Use synonyms
, available at home. From his perspective, public
libraries
Use synonyms
 seemed unnecessary.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 view fails to consider the needs of economically disadvantaged individuals. Many people, particularly students, rely on public
libraries
Use synonyms
 as their only source of free
access
Use synonyms
 to educational materials, computers, and the
internet
Use synonyms
. Without these resources, their ability to excel academically would be severely limited. I personally experienced
this
Linking Words
 during my university years when I had no
internet
Use synonyms
access
Use synonyms
 or computer at home. The local library provided me with the necessary tools to complete my studies, and without it, I would have struggled to graduate and improve my financial situation.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some believe that funding public
libraries
Use synonyms
 is a waste. I strongly contend that these institutions are a critical investment. They provide equal
access
Use synonyms
 to knowledge and opportunities, especially for those who cannot afford alternatives, ultimately contributing to social progress.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the first view more fully. The point about rich people having books and internet does not fully show why public libraries should not get public money. Add ideas such as the cost of library buildings, staff, and books, or say that online books may be cheaper for many people.
task response
Add one more use of libraries. For example, libraries can give a quiet place to study, help people find jobs, or offer help for older people who cannot use the internet well.
task response
Keep your examples, but make the first example stronger. Your friend shows that one person did not need a library, but it does not show that libraries are not needed by the public as a whole.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction is clear, but make the two views more direct. State that one side thinks online information has made libraries less needed, while the other side thinks libraries give free and fair access for all.
coherence and cohesion
In the first body paragraph, begin with a sentence that clearly gives the main point: online access may reduce the need for libraries for some people. Then explain this point before the example.
coherence and cohesion
Fix the full stop in the last paragraph: “while some believe that funding public libraries is a waste. I strongly contend...” Use a comma after “waste”, or make it two full sentences.
task response
You discuss both sides and clearly give your own view. Your main idea is easy to understand: libraries help people who do not have money for books, a computer, or the internet.
task response
Your personal example is clear and supports your view well. It shows how a library can help a student finish school.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: introduction, one paragraph for the first view, one paragraph for your view, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “However”, “For instance”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your ideas.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: