IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some cities create new housing for their growing populations by constructing a smaller number of high-rise buildings. Other cities create more of low-rise buildings. Which solution is better, in your opinion?

#cities #populations #buildings #low-rise
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Nowadays, the world population is growing at an alarming rate. Towns and cities have to work on different plans to provide housing. Many cities build tall buildings for their population
while
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 others construct
low
Add a hyphen
low-height
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height
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 premises.
This
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 essay will discuss both the solutions before reaching
out
Change preposition
apply
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an evident conclusion.
Firstly
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, Creating high-heightened architecture provides aid in saving land area for
future
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 planning.
This
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 will help to tackle the issue of a growing population as authorities can easily make new construction plans with more territory available for
future
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 purposes.
For instance
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, A tall apartment premises with 50 stories can provide the same housing as compared to 25 different
houses
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 with 2 floors.
However
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, the latter uses more land area.
Therefore
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, making large buildings helps to
saves
Change the verb
save
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 land for
future
Use synonyms
 use.
Conversely
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,
low
Add a hyphen
low-height
show examples
height
Use synonyms
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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 can be beneficial to cope with natural
hazard
Fix the agreement mistake
hazards
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 and save lives. There are many deaths reported each year
due to
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 earthquakes, and most people, who, live in tall residences are impacted as these huge structures are more prone to danger
due to
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 their
height
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.
Hence
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,
Small
Correct your spelling
Small-height
show examples
height
Use synonyms
houses
Use synonyms
 can be useful in areas which are more prone to natural disasters. In a nutshell, Some towns make large structures for their society
while
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 others support the idea of low-
height
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 buildings. Huge structures can be useful to save ground for
Use synonyms
future
Correct article usage
the future
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while
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low ceiling
Add a hyphen
low-ceiling
show examples
houses
Use synonyms
 can be beneficial to
deal
Wrong verb form
dealing
show examples
 with natural hazards. In my opinion, It's better to build a tall home
due to
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 its more advantages over timid
houses
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by princedeep0406.singh on

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task response
Ensure that the essay clearly addresses the advantages and disadvantages of both high-rise and low-rise buildings, and provide a balanced evaluation.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is good, but ensure that the points and examples are presented in a more coherent and organized manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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