Some parents think it is good to have mobile phones for their children, others disagree with it. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#parents #phones #children

Mobile

phones

are a crucial part of all

people

daily life,

although

, some parents think that juveniles having their own cell

phones

is highly important, others believe it might be detrimental.

This

essay will discuss both sides in details. There are many reasonable reasons for a child to have a cell phone as some youngsters are so hard to control,

therefore

by giving them a phone they can be checked on 24/7 especially with the new google map technology which provides a precise location of every one. Another reason is

phones

are proven to assist young

people

with social anxiety to obtain friends because they are scared to talk to other children in person so it would be easier to talk to them online. A recent study concluded that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because of mobile

phones

it is simpler now for young

people

to have new friends.

On the other hand

phones

can be very harmful to adolescents as sometimes it is a huge distraction from school and from doing their daily homework,

thus

, it might disrupt education in general. Because a lot of teachers are complaining about the influence of

phones

in school, they urge parents not to buy cell

phones

for their children.

Moreover

, there are a lot of inappropriate contents on the internet that children should not access, but by

phones

,it is almost impossible to cease them from accessing these contents.

For instance

, nowadays young

people

are more fond of violence because it is very popular online. To conclude, mobile

phones

can help parents track their young sons and daughters,

however

, it may m affect their grades and take away their attention from school.

Submitted by Obada ALi on Mon Jan 25 2021

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Mobile technology
parental supervision
safety concerns
educational apps
inappropriate content
cyberbullying
distractions
parental controls
psychosocial development
screen time
age-appropriate
digital literacy
social interaction
communication device
responsibility
cognitive development

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Some parents think it is good to have mobile phones for their children, others disagree with it. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweight the disadvantages?

An increase in production of consumer goods results in damage of the natural environment. What are the causes and possible solutions?

Some people think that a person improves intellectual skills better when doing group activities. To what extend do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view.

While some people consider global warming to be more pressing environmental problem which we have at the moment, others believe that deforestation has more devastating impacts on our worlds. Discuss both views and give your opinion

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?