IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays numerous university undergraduate yearns to study overseas as part of their studies. Even though studying in another state leads to a number of drawbacks, I contemplate that it has more merits. In terms of the disadvantages, if scholars are more willing to courses abroad, they ought to spend more money to do that.
This
Linking Words
 is owing to the fact that they have to pay more for tickets and rent in other countries over the studying period.
Besides
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 usually must deal with a culture shock in the countries where they live.
For instance
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 have to be adaptive to an unfamiliar meal and weather,
whereas
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 situation is extremely different from the conditions in their own country.
As a result
Linking Words
, they might not have focused enough on their studies because of those destructive conditions.
However
Linking Words
, studying abroad has
also
Linking Words
 many advantages for
students
Use synonyms
 related to education and occupation. With regard to education, if
students
Use synonyms
 take courses overseas, they can broaden their knowledge
as well as
Linking Words
 their relationships with other
students
Use synonyms
 who come from different countries.
For example
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 can exchange their different perspectives with each other and
then
Linking Words
 have a good time discussing them with the lecturers.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the possibility of having a deep understanding of each subject is higher than previously. Not only will
this
Linking Words
 condition make the
students
Use synonyms
 experience more knowledge, but
also
Linking Words
 it will lead the
students
Use synonyms
 to have various relationships which is immensely good for having an incredible chance to build a career in the future. In conclusion, despite the increasing number of
students
Use synonyms
 who want to study abroad having some adverse sides related to the
students
Use synonyms
’ expenditure and culture shock, the beneficial sides of education exist strongly.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
It is imperative to have a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should succinctly present the topic and your thesis statement, while the conclusion should effectively summarize your arguments and restate your position. The provided essay lacks a clear conclusion that restates the overall position or summarizes the key points effectively.
logical structure
Ensure that the essay has a logical structure. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and progress logically from one to the next. While the essay presents points in a certain order, transitions between points could be smoother, and the progression of ideas could be more coherent. Consider using more linking words and topic sentences to begin paragraphs, which can help guide the reader more precisely through your line of reasoning.
supported main points
When supporting your main points, you should aim to provide clear and relevant examples. The essay touches on examples but could develop them further. Each point you make should be illustrated with an example or piece of evidence that is directly linked to the argument you are trying to make. Work on this to improve the clarity and impact of your arguments.
complete response
To fully respond to the task, ensure you directly address the question prompt and consistently maintain focus on it throughout your essay. While your essay does address the topic, it sometimes strays from the direct focus of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. For a more complete response, balance the treatment of both aspects and ensure your position is clear and maintained throughout the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
To express ideas clearly and comprehensively, make use of a range of vocabulary and sentence structures. Varying your language can help prevent repetition and keep the reader engaged. While your essay demonstrates a degree of this, aim for even greater precision in word choice and clarity in idea expression. Additionally, avoid overly complex sentences that may confuse the reader or obscure your meaning.
relevant specific examples
Incorporation of relevant and specific examples is essential to substantiate your points. Your essay would benefit from more detailed examples that directly support the advantages and disadvantages discussed. Elaborating on the examples would provide depth to your arguments and enhance the essay's effectiveness in conveying your perspective.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: