In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think it is a positive or negative development ?

In today's world, a larger proportion of the population is likely to desire to have their own property rather than a rented one.
Firstly
,
this
essay will discuss
confidence
Correct article usage
the confidence
show examples
that homeowners gain as the main cause of
this
tendency and,
secondly
, it will analyse whether it has more merits or demerits.
To begin
with, it can be clearly observed that more and more people would like to own a home since it gives a feeling of safety and support in case of unforeseen situations.
Moreover
, a purchased property becomes an asset that,
consequently
, is likely to decrease
risks
Correct article usage
the risks
show examples
of losing everything if a person is fired or goes bankrupt.
As a result
, not only do citizens feel
secured
Wrong verb form
secure
show examples
but
also
they understand that they have already achieved some goals and,
hence
, it motivates them.
For example
, even though flats in the UK cost a lot of people residents of the country prefer to have a mortgage rather than pay others for their accommodation.
Furthermore
,
this
human's desire to own a house is likely to have a beneficial effect on the country's economy.
This
is because of the fact that when workers are motivated by the increase in wages that,
as a consequence
, will help them in purchasing a house their work performance will be improved.
Therefore
, the economy is likely to experience growth and GDP will be increased.
For instance
, a recent study has shown that the more common motivation for employees is their desire to buy a property. Eventually,
to conclude
, the main reason why people in some countries it
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
important to own a house is that in
this
way they might gain more confidence and safety.
In addition
, in my opinion, it is a positive development since
this
tendency might work as a catalyst for efficient work and economic growth.
Submitted by veronika-glinka on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Your essay provides a clear and complete response to the task. It addresses both the reasons for the preference for owning a home and the positive/negative development. However, ensure that the examples provided directly support your main points and are relevant to the discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, there are some coherence and cohesion issues in connecting the ideas. Work on using cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs more effectively, and ensure that there is a smooth flow of ideas throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Homeownership
  • Property ladder
  • Real estate
  • Mortgage
  • Equity
  • Inflation hedge
  • Stability
  • Long-term investment
  • Asset
  • Liability
  • Housing market
  • Tenure
  • Down payment
  • Property taxes
  • Maintenance costs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: