some people say that devoting one's time to family activities is more importsnt than spending time working. Others believe that dedicating one's time to work is more important. Discus both views and give your own opinion.
It is often argued that quality
time
with one's family is essential, Use synonyms
while
others insist that the Linking Words
time
a person spends working is more beneficial than the Use synonyms
time
he or she spends interacting with their family. From my perspective, the former seems more plausible, but both sides of the issue will be examined in Use synonyms
this
essay.
Linking Words
To begin
with, it can be argued that working Linking Words
time
is important to a family's financial Use synonyms
wellbeing
because if a worker cannot make a living, the Correct your spelling
well-being
overall
happiness of his or her family Linking Words
cannnot
be ensured. Correct your spelling
cannot
can
Therefore
, most people must commit much of their lives to their careers. Linking Words
For example
, parents sometimes miss out on events in their children's lives, but Linking Words
this
does not indicate that they are uninterested in their family. In order to be able to afford their children's education, parents must work long hours that sometimes separate them from their families. It's a sacrifice for the family's Linking Words
overall
happiness and success.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, it is commonly believed that spending Linking Words
time
with one's family is more valuable as it contributes more to an individual's happiness and that of his or her family. The Use synonyms
time
with family is usually fun and relaxing, Use synonyms
whereas
working Linking Words
time
can often be very stressful. Use synonyms
According to
a poll by the Center for Family Development, the majority of respondents ranked family Linking Words
time
over working Use synonyms
time
when asked about the things that brought the most satisfaction to their lives. Use synonyms
Also
, when asked whether being with their family and being at work were positive or negative experiences, an overwhelming 85 per cent responded that they always enjoy the Linking Words
time
that they spend with their families.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
while
it is apparent that Linking Words
time
used for working is sometimes more crucial than family Use synonyms
time
, it is undeniable that enjoying family Use synonyms
time
is generally more important and should be a priority.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Your argument could benefit from more balanced support for both views. Consider providing a more in-depth example or additional rationale for the viewpoint that supports work over family time, to ensure both perspectives are equally strong.
coherence cohesion
Aim to use more varied linking words to further enhance the coherence of your essay. This will help to make the transitions between your points even smoother.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a solid structure for your argument.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported with reasoning and examples, making your argument persuasive.