Some people state arts courses such painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students .To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some
people
believe scholars must have an obligation to learn about drawing.
However
, painting will make student can improve their
skills
through drawing. I disagree if painting or drawing is not available again at school.
This
essay will discuss the following below. When students learn from elementary school need a character to know what they have.
Firstly
,
people
must have
skills
for their future because in the next life have to have
skills
and innovation to for apply a job.
In addition
,
people
should increase their ability to paint or draw,
This
is very important next time and
this
can be the first way to become an architect,
For instance
, an architect expert must have the skill to draw another type of building where
this
work has points for the future.
On the other hand
, having many
skills
is absolutely effortless to find a job.
Secondly
, Other experts argue
also
art is number one without abilities
people
can not join other companies or communities, you can draw and painting is powerful.
Nevertheless
, some
people
do not need and care about
this
subject. Actually,
this
subject is important and very needed in the future.
Therefore
, the Government of ministry education must have terms with
this
condition and situation for qualities of students.
For example
, If students have the ambition to work in design grafis or editors must have the skill to draw
also
in
this
modern era all about technology,
this
is very easy to get a lot of money if they can keep and improve their
skills
. In conclusion, from the
first,
I could not agree.
However
, subjects of draw and painting have to be there at school because
this
can give much income and a big salary.
In addition
, design grafis need
skills
to draw and paint an editor of the video.
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay generally addresses the topic, but you need to develop your points more clearly and comprehensively. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Including more specific examples can also enhance the response.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, you should work on the logical flow of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using connectors and linking words appropriately can help achieve this. Additionally, make sure your introduction and conclusion clearly outline your main argument and summarize your points.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are interesting but could be presented with more clarity. Take time to plan your essay before writing, ensuring each idea is well supported and logically follows from the previous one.
task response
You have a clear position on the topic, which is good. Stating your viewpoint clearly at the beginning helps set up your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion restates the importance of art subjects, which reinforces your argument effectively.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: