IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people believe that to be successful at a sport you need a natural ability and others think that hard work and practice can make you successful.Discuss both view and give your opinion?

#people #sport #ability #work #practice
It's
p
Add an article
a
show examples
henomenon,
sport
 is a multi-million-pound industry.There is a large audience of
sports
 fans and most talented among them will reach the top. A segment a society
beleive's
Correct your spelling
believes
believe's
 to be successful at a
sport
 need natural ability.
However
, other opine that hard work and practice can make successful .I would like
Add the particle
to
show examples
discuss both
statement
Change to a plural noun
statements
show examples
 in the upcoming
peragraph
Correct your spelling
paragraph
paragraphs
. To attest, Several
sports
 are only concerned about money and fame. Massive should do sporting activities for enjoyment and health reasons.
for example
,in school's activities play the major role of
sport
,which
is enhance
Change the verb form
is enhanced
show examples
 to hobbies as well as skills and in childhood, it
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 a grow in
n
Add an article
a
show examples
ature way to represent the
sport
.
Moreover
,The
lavel
Correct your spelling
level
 of professional
sports
 is much higher
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
,that of amateur
sport
.
furthermore
, supporters of teams feel a sense of belonging to a community.
Sports
starts
Correct your spelling
stars
show examples
 have dedicated hours of
pretices
Correct your spelling
practices
 do
developing
Change the verb form
develop
show examples
 their fitness and skills.
exmplfy
Correct your spelling
exemplify
,there is no hard and fast rule while as,
pretices
Correct your spelling
practices
prices
 make a mam
parfect
Correct your spelling
perfect
.In cricket, without practice,not won any team can
won
Change the verb form
win
be won
show examples
 the World cup.
thus
 , developing countries should be given the chance to become hosts. In conclusion, after analysing the above statement in my opinion
although
,hard work and practice make successful every
sport
 but
also
 connected about money and fame.whereas spot stars entertain
milions
Correct your spelling
millions
 of people.Hance , Government are involved in the hosting of sporting events
such
 as the Olympics.
Submitted by naresh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: