Air travel can only benefit the richest people in the world. The ordinary people can get no advantage with the development of air travel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is indisputable that
air
travel
benefits the wealthy. However
, while
rich individuals can take full advantage of air
travel
, I disagree with the idea that ordinary people
cannot benefit from its development.
For those with substantial wealth, time
is money. They are willing to pay for expensive tickets at convenient times, such
as direct flights
, rather than opting for red-eye flights
with layovers. Wealthy people
do not need to worry about the cost of flight tickets when choosing the most ideal travel
itinerary. Additionally
, they often book first-class or business-class flights
, which offer the highest quality of service. This
includes exclusive perks before departure, during the flight, and after arrival. For the wealthiest individuals, some companies even offer services that allow them to check in their luggage from home, saving them valuable time
. Moreover
, they can use fast-track services at airports, further
reducing the time
spent in queues. In short, they pay for efficiency, flexibility, and luxury.
On the other hand
, I disagree with the notion that less affluent people
cannot benefit from air
travel
. While
they may have to spend more time
waiting for cheaper flights
, they can still enjoy the advantages of air
travel
by being cost-effective. Budget airlines, which are accessible to the general population, provide affordable options. Many ordinary people
choose indirect flights
with layovers to save money. In some cases, these layovers offer opportunities to explore new destinations, enriching their travel
experience. As a result
, they can expand their horizons, manage their finances more wisely, and allocate more funds for other aspects of travel
. Therefore
, they make the most of air
travel
by investing in experiences rather than luxury.
In conclusion, while
the wealthiest people
benefit from air
travel
in terms of convenience and luxury, ordinary people
can also
take advantage by being resourceful, managing their time
and finances wisely, and gaining valuable experiences.Submitted by roy0302l on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Consider using more linking words or phrases to enhance coherence, such as 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' or 'Meanwhile.'
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples or data to bolster your arguments. For example, citing specific budget airlines or recent trends in airfare pricing could strengthen your position.
Task Achievement
Clarify some of the examples you provide. For instance, you mention wealthy people skipping red-eye flights. It might help to briefly elaborate on why these flights are less desirable.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear and logical structure, with a well-defined introduction, body, and conclusion.
Task Achievement
You have addressed all parts of the task and provided a balanced argument, which directly responds to the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
The examples you have provided effectively support your main points and help elucidate your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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