IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#two #maps #show #road #access #city #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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This
Linking Words
 bar chart illustrates the amount of
electricity
Use synonyms
 which was used for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
production
Use synonyms
 and consumption by
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 ten countries (
China
Use synonyms
, United States , Russia , Japan, India, Canada, France, Brazil, Germany,
Use synonyms
Korea
Correct word choice
and Korea
show examples
) in 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
,
China
Use synonyms
 ranks first for the consumption and
production
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 of
electricity
Use synonyms
 ,
moreover
Linking Words
, the lowest amount is used and produced by the country
Korea
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
 , Russia was nearly equal in the
production
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 and consumption of
electricity
Use synonyms
. In 2014 ,
China
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 was ahead of all the countries in
production
Use synonyms
 which was 5,398 billion
kWh
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 and
also
Linking Words
, for the usage of
electricity
Use synonyms
 which was 5,322 billion
kWh
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. The lowest amount of
electricity
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 consumed is by the country
Korea
Use synonyms
 which is 455.8 billion
kWh
Use synonyms
 ,
moreover
Linking Words
,
electricity
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was produced by Germany in a minority which is about 526.6 . There was not a quite difference between the usage and manufacturing of
electricity
Use synonyms
 by the country Russia which was about 19
kWh
Use synonyms
 and
similarly
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 was with countries
such
Linking Words
 as
China
Use synonyms
 and
Korea
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by manasiparmar97 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, production, china, korea, kwh with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic flow
  • road access
  • ring road
  • bus stops
  • bus station
  • congestion
  • parking facilities
  • pedestrian crossings
  • vehicular flow
  • organizational structure
  • accessibility
  • enhancements
  • configuration
  • dedicated
  • diverting traffic
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