IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Parents, particularly mothers, do not go to work to take care of family. Some people say that the government should give some money to those parents. do you agree or disagree with the satement? give reasons to your answers and give example to support your views.

#parents #mothers #work #care #people #government #money #satement #answers #support
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People often argue that
parents
Use synonyms
 who do not opt for a job due to family responsibility should get some amount of
money
Use synonyms
 form the authority,
This
Linking Words
 essay would disagree with the above statement, though some exemption should be made for those
parents
Use synonyms
 under certain circumstances.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 essay would discuss why giving to unemployed mother considered an unfairness to those who job, and
secondly
Linking Words
, how it can affect the nation's economy. To start with, the prime reason why the authority should not provide
money
Use synonyms
 to those who do not go to work could be unfairness to those who works day and night for their family. The reason is that by not working, unemployed
parents
Use synonyms
 are not contributing towards the nation's development, it is those who work hard should be getting these benefits from the authority. Though under a certain situation, it is necessary to provide
money
Use synonyms
 to those
parents
Use synonyms
 who do not work,
such
Linking Words
 as who do not have any other family member who can look after their family.
For example
Linking Words
, a recent survey showed that 59% of the working
parents
Use synonyms
 vocalised that they are not satisfied by the government as they provide
money
Use synonyms
 to not working
parents
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, not working
parents
Use synonyms
 create more burden on the government. Because they are not paying any taxes to them and still they are getting benefits for the regime. The regime should have enough funds to support those unemployed
parents
Use synonyms
. but they are not paying taxes, government revenue would decline and
this
Linking Words
 would increase pressure on working
parents
Use synonyms
 .
Consequently
Linking Words
, the nation's economy will fall considerably day by day.
Thus
Linking Words
, to avoid
this
Linking Words
 unfortunate circumstance, the regime should not pay any
money
Use synonyms
 to not working
parents
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 paying
money
Use synonyms
 to not working
parents
Use synonyms
 would help them to support their family expense, but it would
also
Linking Words
 bring down the country's economy, which should not be negotiated .
Submitted by drsefalipatel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: