IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Folks have to fall
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 that type of status where their function is not satisfactory.
However
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, it would be
the
Correct article usage
apply
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best if someone
can
Wrong verb form
could
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 improve the situation. From my perspective,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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opting
job
Use synonyms
 is the best whether the situation is positive or negative. There are both advantages and disadvantages to these arguments.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, man has to survive doing his work. It is required to fulfil his necessity where he goes. Engaging with tasks can ampoule his knowledge. Accomplishing works part by part gives him various types of thinking.
As a consequence
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, he would be able to grab the depth of the assignment.
Thus
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, he can implement a diversity of
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
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where
Rephrase
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 can be fruitful to all
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people. These acrobatic themes lead him to be an entrepreneur where he can make an improvement
of
Change preposition
in
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 the country.
For instance
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, if a person takes a
job
Use synonyms
 in the hotel as a waiter he can easily grab the full condition of the hotel. It helps him a lot to make a new hotel for him in the hereinafter.
On the other hand
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, if the situation is not fever in
one's
Change noun form
one
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 it would be better to quit the
job
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. It is because the owner of the company always wants to do more
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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by
Change preposition
for
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 his employees.
As a result
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, it is not possible for a folk to create anything new as they are bound to abide by
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 owner. Some types of
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 do not support him to accomplish his tasks very well. The reason is political issues. Many people are harassed by the internal bureaucracy which cannot
remain
Verb problem
keep
show examples
 them in their
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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. At a certain time, some persons
also
Linking Words
 lose their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
For example
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, working in a pizza shop or shopping mall is easy but it is very difficult to restain the tasks as there are many persons who fight each other mentally to upgrade themselves. In conclusion, it is required to get a
job
Use synonyms
 in any condition to survive.
On the contrary
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, to remain oneself one must consider the position if it is not for him.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the topic and purpose of the essay. The reader should have a clear understanding of the argument that will be discussed.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear thesis statement that presents your opinion on the topic and provides a roadmap for the essay.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas logically, using paragraphs to separate different points. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to connect your ideas and improve the flow of the essay. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Ensure that your response addresses all aspects of the prompt. In this essay, you should discuss both views (accepting a bad situation and trying to improve it) and present your own opinion.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and effectively. Use a variety of words and phrases to make your essay more engaging.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your sentence structures and grammatical accuracy. Avoid repetitive and unclear sentences, and strive for more complex and varied sentence structures.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Contentment
  • Resilience
  • Personal growth
  • Endurance
  • Initiative
  • Advancement
  • Catalyst
  • Financial stability
  • Status quo
  • Innovation
  • Missed opportunities
  • Life satisfaction
  • Adverse situations
  • Taking control
  • Risk assessment
  • Change management
  • Self-improvement
  • Motivation
  • Stagnation
  • Proactivity
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