Some people think that money is the best gift for teenagers. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #money #gift #teenagers

Some people believe that the most valuable present is

money

, while there are people

who

Delete the pronoun

apply

show examples

opposite

this

argument. In

this

essay, I am going to examine

this

question from both points of view and

then

give my own perspective. On the

Correct the word

one

show examples

hand, there are several advantages.

Firstly

, receiving

money

as a present is useful for

children

This

is because

children

can have the right spending habit by managing

money

themselves.

For example

, in my case, I could learn a reasonable consumption related to

money

Therefore

, currently, I could save more

money

than my friends.

Secondly

, giving some

money

as a present is a good way to learn economy.

This

is because the parents can teach economics to their

children

such

as stocks, economic words, or information through

money

For instance

, I learned

Add an article

the

show examples

conomy from my parents when I was a kid.

As a result

, I earn some

money

by managing/operating stock accounts these days.

On the other hand

, I believe that it adversely affects

children

First

, It is because some young students do not have wise judgment related to spending. They could buy harmful things

such

as drinks, cigarettes, and drugs. Actually, my friends who were

Add an article

the

show examples

ame high school bought cigarettes in convenience stores when they had some

money

In addition

, they even smoke until now under an effect at that time.

Second

, there are a lot of valuable things for

children

without

money

. If you give products

such

as iPads and tablets, It helps

children

study hard.

For example

, because a lot of

children

use mobile devices and computers in the schools during the class, if they give those, they can study everywhere. It encourages them to study hard. In conclusion, it is true that

money

could give some good ways how to manage

money

and how to learn economics.

Nevertheless

, I strongly believe that it has a negative impact on

children

as they can be exposed the harmful things

such

as drinks and cigarettes.

Submitted by lanysstudio on Wed Feb 03 2021

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

327 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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