IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

#countries #weight #people #levels #health #fitness #measures
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, obesity has become one of the outstanding problems in some countries especially in developed and developing ones
in addition
Linking Words
 to the fact that the majority of people do not have
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
body
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 modern world, the individual’s activities are so limited. It is obviously clear that the technology donates some benefits to the society like the availability of doing business at home on the Internet or utilizing vacuum cleaners or dishwashers which cause people to become so lazy. In
this
Linking Words
 case, the lack of physical movements leads to having excess weight. Another reason to gain extra weight and to be unhealthy could be because of eating
foods
Use synonyms
 especially inorganic fruits and vegetables which are grown by harmful chemical fertilizers and artificial substances
such
Linking Words
 as pesticides or substances used in order to boost the harvest process. These seemingly technological achievements can seriously harm humans’ health. To halt these irrecoverable influences or reduce the detrimental effects on our
body
Use synonyms
, some pragmatic measures must be taken. Doctors believe that exercise is one of the best solutions to decreasing obesity and being healthy. By doing exercises just one hour per day, we will be able to improve our lifestyle remarkably. Another step towards health could be to eat
nutrition
Replace the word
nutritious
show examples
foods
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of fast
foods
Use synonyms
. Vegetables and fruits help our
body
Use synonyms
 to have better metabolism. It is proved that digesting these kinds of
foods
Use synonyms
 is simpler for the digestive system of our
body
Use synonyms
 than animals’ meat. To put in the nutshell, I personally believe that the more we eat
nutrition
Replace the word
nutritious
show examples
foods
Use synonyms
 or do regular exercises, the healthier
body
Use synonyms
 we have as well as a healthier mindset.
Submitted by sabbi12897 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • exercise
  • unhealthy diet
  • fast food
  • urbanization
  • modernization
  • stress
  • awareness
  • education
  • government intervention
  • policies
  • promotion
  • sports
  • fitness programs
  • health education
  • taxation
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure
  • parks
  • recreational spaces
What to do next:
Look at other essays: