Some people think that work is the most important thing of people’s life. Without the success of career, life become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many
people
consider the pursuit of an important career or high social status as the most important aspects of a person's
life
. Without
them
Add a comma
,them
show examples
living lose of meaning. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I am going to opinion about
this
statement arguing that reaching work
success
is not the key
of
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
being fulfil
Change the verb form
being fulfilled
show examples
in a
life time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
but a modern social misconception. A person's
life
does not
dipend
Correct your spelling
depend
on the kind of occupation or on the amount of salary earnt. Work has to be part of
people
's
life
but does not has to be the meaning of
life
itself.
Success
does not mean happiness and satisfaction.
For example
,
people
living great
Correct your spelling
lives
life's
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
like important actors, pop stars or entrepreneur are not
exept
Correct your spelling
exempt
from depression and they are constantly living a more stressful
life
than what seems. Unfortunately, stars like Elvis
Preasly
Correct your spelling
Presley
Pressly
and Whitney Huston are two examples that a successful
life
does not
emply
Correct your spelling
employ
imply
happinnes
Correct your spelling
happiness
. I think there are other aspects much more valuable and important than social
success
or good careers. Having
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
knowledge about ourself as human and being kind and respectful toward other
people
are aspects that fulfil a
life
rather than career achievements.
People
who spend them
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
travelling or doing
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
humble jobs,
such
as farmers, they seem to have found the real key of living reaching a stable state of happiness. In conclusion, since we are child we grew with the idea that
success
in
life
is the direct correspond for a meaningful existence.
Unfortunately
Add a comma
,Unfortunately
show examples
this
is just a misconception.
An
Change the article
A
show examples
higher social status may be more stressful and frustrating than simpler occupations, and
therefore
,
although
the higher salaries, spending an entire
life
following career goals or
success
will reduce
people
's existence into a less meaningful
life
than the others with less social status.
Submitted by Phil Abendrot on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: