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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some societies, the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regard of age, teenagers who commit major crime should receive adult punishment. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#societies #crimes #teenagers #people #age #crime #adult #punishment
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In quiet few communities, the amount of illegal activity by teens is increasing rapidly. Some individuals believe, regardless of the age, minors that are committing serious illegal activities should get adult punishments and retribution to discipline them. I disagree with punishing youngsters of the same method used to punish adults for serious misconduct. Because, I believe that giving
such
 heavy punishment to youngsters for their wrongdoing,
that is
 highly influenced by wrong guidance and environment.
Although
 there are youngsters who did carry out significant misconduct, considering their age where they would most likely be influenced by their environment and poor judgement skills, which could highly lead to making wrong decisions and perform significant illegal acts.
Such
 as having being bullied in school or being abused by their parents, which can often lead them to a breaking point, that leads them to commit a heinous violation, often it could be due to trying to protect themselves from any
further
 harm in the future. In the recent, statistics in , the USA it has been shown that there has been a drastic increase in teenagers committing big wrongdoing, due to self-defence and for protection. After studying
further
 they found out that many of the students have mental problems due to bad environment,
such
 as severe depression and anxiety, sociopath, PTSD.
Therefore
, it often leads them with poor judgement skills and lack of proper reasoning. In conclusion, punishing young individuals with adult punishments
,
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 is not the solution for them to stop committing any
further
 significant illegal activities. I disagree with
such
 heavy punishments for young individuals, even though they committed major crimes. In my opinion, we can change them for the better and prevent
such
 a case from repeating by giving them frequent counselling.
Submitted by shizza1812 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • psychological maturity
  • consequences of their actions
  • juvenile crime
  • root causes
  • family breakdown
  • poverty
  • lack of education
  • harsh penalties
  • rehabilitation and reformation
  • capacity for change
  • detrimental psychological effects
  • age-appropriate interventions
  • constructive path
  • deterrent
  • overcrowded prisons
  • exacerbate criminal behavior
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