One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development

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It is argued that the advancement in medical care is leading to a long

life

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of individuals.

This

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essay presents that there are more drawbacks

such

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as increased government expense on pension and youth unemployment over the advantage that retired populations can enjoy their free time.

To begin

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with,

increase

Add an article

an increase

show examples

life

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expectancy means that the number of retirees will

also

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add-up and the government will have to pay more pension to them.

Moreover

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this

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will affect the national budget as the authorities will have to allocate a huge sum of money into the retirement fund which can be used for other development activities. Eventually,

this

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load will fall on taxpayers in a form of higher tax rates.

For example

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, the countries that have ageing population

such

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as Japan and China pay up to 50% of the tax from their income.

Secondly

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as a

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result

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of healthy ,

life

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many individuals who are eligible for the retirement may choose to stay back and work.

This

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will

result

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in unemployment and increased crime in young

people

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This

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is to say that because old working

people

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are experienced, and the companies will choose them over the inexperienced young

people

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As a

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result

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, youths are engaged in criminal activities to earn for themself.

On the other hand

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, retired individuals have the opportunity to enjoy their lives. The elderly

people

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who do not have to worry about their children and work can choose to do the things they want to do like travelling to other countries and new places.

In other words

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Change the punctuation

apply

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generally

Add a comma

,generally

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most of the working public devote their whole

life

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on their work and children, leaving little time for them to do the things they like. To exemplify, according to the recent report by The American Lifestyle Magazine, more than 60% of the pensioner Americans travel around the world. In conclusion, inclined

life

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expectancy is a

result

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of the boom in medical research.

This

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can lead to older

people

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to enjoy their lives but will cause scarcity of employment opportunities in the younger generation and they are forced to commit crimes.

This

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essay believes that the disadvantage outweighs the advantages.

Submitted by shresthakrishchal on Wed Feb 10 2021

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

357 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
elderly population
health care systems
pension funds
extended family relationships
quality of life
aging population
economic growth
volunteer work
expertise
financial planning
retirement
age-related diseases
medical research
healthier lifestyles

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

Some people think the best way to solve global environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel，To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Prevention is better than cure" Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree.

In many countries, some children spend a long time each day or their smart phone instead of reading book Do you agree or disagree?

The cost of international travel is decreasing, and tourism is increasing in many countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the rising trent of tourism for countries?