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Writing Samples
Band 6

It is common for people to travel long distances for work and study. Some argue that longer commute times negatively affect people while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #travel #distances #work #study #argue #times
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It is becoming increasingly widespread that individuals
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 a long
distance
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 to and from the workplace and school. While some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon causes a lot of detrimental effects on
people
Use synonyms
’s lives, others have the opposite views. I think it has some benefits for both
people
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 and society. On the one hand, some
people
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 discuss that commuting for a
long
Add a hyphen
long-distance
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distance
Use synonyms
 leads to adverse impacts on
people
Use synonyms
’s family relations and personal health.
Firstly
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,
people
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 spend less
time
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for
Verify preposition usage
apply
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communicating and getting along with their family members due to the tiredness of long commutes.
As a result
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, they have to leave home very early and arrive home very late so that they do not have enough
time
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 to accompany their families.
In addition
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,
traveling
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travelling
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 for a long
time
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 to
work
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 and study makes
people
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to
Change the verb form
apply
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have some health problems
such
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 as depression and obesity because they have to sit for a long
time
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 and it brings them more pressures.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some claim that
long
Add a hyphen
long-distance
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distance
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traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 would contribute to the success of both individuals and
the
Remove the article
apply
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society.
First
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,
long
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long-distance
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distance
Use synonyms
 commuters have more options to study or
work
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.
For example
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,
people
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 who live in
the
Change the article
a
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 rural area could
work
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 in
the
Change the article
a
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 big city which enable them to earn more money.
As a result
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, their quality of life has risen significantly that they could afford their mortgage and basic foods easily.
Secondly
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, there are more employment opportunities in the society which give
people
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 lots of chances to choose what they want to do and help them to get a decent job.
Moreover
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, Social
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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 force will be increase because the way
people
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 travel becomes more convenient. In the past, factories in remote areas often lacked
labors
Change the spelling
labours
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 because of inconvenient transportation. As
long
Add a hyphen
long-distance
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distance
Use synonyms
 commuting becomes more and more common,
people
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 are more willing to
work
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 in those areas. In conclusion,
although
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long
Add an article
a long
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time
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 commuting brings some negative effects on
people
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, but these can be tackled with some methods. I strongly support that it is helpful for personal and social development.
Submitted by demi990201 on

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