Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child's development. However, others argue that other things like Television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many people believe that parents play an important
role
in the growth of their children, while
others argue that Television and their peers play a vital role
in the growth of teenagers’ development. This
topic will discuss both views and provide my opinion at the end
of the passage.
On the one hand, classmates play a crucial role
with their mates, while
at school and outside the school. They share assignments and do group discussions on different topics such
as study-related as well as
daily life issues. In discussions, they share information with each other and remove any weaknesses they have in their lives. Another reason is that digital television is true nowadays teenagers watch digital programs on the screens and get the best knowledge such
as discovery channels and science topics, which make them comfortable with their skills. In addition
, due to
readily available digital platforms, students solve their study-related problems on screens and get good marks in their exams. As a result
, online classes help them for development in the future
.
On the other hand
, family heads, who are the first teachers of their offspring always teach better than others. Guardians teach their offspring in a practical way and show them what is good and bad for them, so they can become more successful in the future
. Moreover
, a child spend more time with their families as compared to school and friends, so they get opportunities to learn from their family members such
as elder brothers, sisters, and seniors. In addition
, parents sometimes take their children to events and teach them, how to behave in society, so in the future
they can play an important part in public well-being.
In conclusion, following the analysis, it is clear that
caretakers are the most helpers, who mould their children in such
a way and teach them how to communicate with other people and relatives. We cannot ignore Television and their friends because they can speak and discuss some personal issues with them, which is not possible to discuss with their guardians. In my opinion, parents play the most important role
in the betterment of their teenagers’ and teach them the right things which make them successful in their future
.Submitted by rbtech65 on
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coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher score, working on transitioning smoothly between ideas and paragraphs can help with overall coherence. This would make the essay easier for readers to follow.
task achievement
Providing more concrete and specific examples to support the points raised would strengthen the arguments and make the essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear opinion, demonstrating task achievement.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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