nowadays many people aim to create a balance between their work and other aspects of their life, however, only a few achieve it. What are the problems in doing this and what solutions can you suggest?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
When it comes to having a balance between
job
and personal life, the majority of adults struggle to find an adequate proportion.
This
essay discusses what are the possible problems in finding
this
balance and pinpoint what I believe to be the solutions. It is true that many adults have problems to avoid
work
during their free time and the possible reason is due to the
job
market.
First
, people have become afraid to lose their jobs, and to prevent unemployment, they accept those situations. Indeed, unemployment rates are
steadly
Correct your spelling
steadily
steady
increasing and, in order to keep their jobs, adults are working not only during their working routine but
also
during their free time. To illustrate, according to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
recent research, seventy per cent of the participants has said they
work
during their personal moments.
In addition
, companies have been pressuring the employees for better results. As the
workers
have been pressured, they fail to create a harmony between their
job
and other aspects. The best way to solve
this
issue is to have a discussion with supervisors or, more radically, look for another career. Supervisors are the best person to talk about
this
issue in order to solve it. As they are allowed to manage the
work
they demand, they can avoid
to
Change the verb form
contacting
show examples
contact
Correct your spelling
contract
show examples
workers
during their free time. If
this
does not solve the problem, another possible solution is to search for a new career.
Although
it has become more difficult to find
a
Remove the article
work
a job
show examples
work
, there are always opportunities for those who persist.
Workers
can,
for instance
, do a previous search in
job
banks and check the vacancies. To sum up, due to the disputed
job
market, many
workers
are having troubles to create a balance between their jobs and personal activities. I suggest that
workers
have a conversation with their supervisors or, if it does not solve the problem, they search for better opportunities.
Submitted by samirzakur on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: