Some people think that national sports teams and individual men and women who represent their country should be financially supported by the government. However, others argue that they should be funded by non-government sources (e.g. Business, scholarship, etc.). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is believed by some that the

government

Use synonyms

should fund the sports team and sportsperson who represent their nation,

while

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others argue they should be funded by the NGO’s.

This

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essay intends to delve into both perspectives.

However

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, I believe that the contribution of business and

government

Use synonyms

is necessary. On the one hand, there are many reasons why people favour the involvement of

government

Use synonyms

funding in sports.

Firstly

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, sportspersons compete against opponents across the globe in international sports events for the whole nation. When there is any victory, or they break up the world record in a world-class tournament, they inspire their national pride and arouse patriotism among their citizens.

Moreover

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, they

also

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act as a brand ambassador for their country and for others as well.

This

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helps strengthen the relationship between countries and improves their nation’s image.

On the other hand

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, those in favour of funding from non-

government

Use synonyms

sources argue that it would ease some burden off

Change preposition

show examples

the

government

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’s shoulders.

This

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will provide the opportunity for the

government

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to utilise that money on other areas which require financial assistance.

Apart from

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this

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, businesses are profit-driven, they can spend money on providing coaching and facilitating their training.

For example

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, many Indian cricketers are receiving financial aid from businesses in various ways to support their playing careers. These investments help them in their

overall

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career development. The Indian Premier League has provided recognition to many previously underrated players. In conclusion, I believe that

government

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and non-

government

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organisations should both financially support teams and individual performances to achieve their desired performance.

hiFri Apr 18 2025

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task achievement

Consider providing a clearer distinction between the two viewpoints in the introduction.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure all points are clearly related back to the central argument to enhance logical flow.

task achievement

Expand on the examples provided to further illustrate your points.

coherence and cohesion

The essay presents a balanced view of both perspectives on funding for sports.

task achievement

Examples like Indian cricketers receiving aid are effective in supporting your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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