IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Whilst information system are now being utilized to aid the old, some people are worrying about the possible negative outcomes To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer.

#whilst #information #system #aid #people #outcomes
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The database method which keeps the news is now ancient and some folks are now tensed much as it would provide demerits. From my perspective,
this
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 proposition is completely true. It is because there is a chance of manipulating
this
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 news. It seems undeniable that the database keeps significant
information
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 and as a consequence, it should need proper maintenance. If the material device goes old
day
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 by
day
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, there is a possible chance to leak out the data where it cannot be adorable to all. The possible reason is that the concerned persons are
not
Verify preposition usage
asnot
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 serious as it is an important issue.
However
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, some individuals consider that there is no need to maintain the data every
day
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. The machine goes down older as the
day
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 passes.
For instance
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, the device which pile humans wealth info and if it is ancient
then
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 his economic
information
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 would be emitted.
In other words
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, if the new devices are purchased
then
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 it can be solved.
Moreover
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, the devices are growing old and it cannot work at a certain time.
As a result
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, it would squeeze the
information
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 automatically. The possible reason for
this
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 is to lack investigation of the equipment which creates incidents frequently.
Nevertheless
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, some folks infer that if the machines are relocated in variable ways it could be identified.
For example
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, a concern person should monitor the devices as there is a lot of possibility of hacking.
On the contrary
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, if the
information
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 data are hacked that device should be undermined. In conclusion, report systems becoming old and it is because of
lack
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the lack
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 of maintenance of the accessory.
Conversely
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,
datas
Correct your spelling
data
 should not be check every time as there is a lot of confidentiality of people.
Submitted by Sadiq on

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