Many working people get little or no exercise during the work day, and have health problems as a result. -Why do so many people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? -Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #exercise #work #health #-why #-give

There is an ever-increasing number of

people

that do not do enough exercise at work and

as a result

, these

people

can develop health-related problems.

This

essay will explain the causes and deliver some solution in order to tackle

this

trend.

First

off, there are two important reasons why

people

do not like doing exercises, one reason is about

people

's heavy workload. Employees like computer engineers have to work so far more than 10 hours every day in front of

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

computers to finish their duties . To illustrate, I have been working for IT company for 8 years and I realize that I keep sitting almost 4 hours without rest so as to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

the requirements on time, which strike me as detrimental

for

Change preposition

show examples

my health.

Furthermore

, another reason is that even though some young

people

are aware of health-related problems , they would rather posting photos or chatting with their friends rather than playing

a sports

Correct the article-noun agreement

sports

a sport

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

will suggest 2 solutions based on governments' policies.

Firstly

,I would rather the government propelled health campaigns on the mass media so that more

people

raise awareness about being sedentary and its possible consequences;

therefore

, more

people

might prevent from suffering health conditions

such

as obesity and heart attacks.

In addition

, Governments must create a law so that companies have facilities where

people

working are able to do

exercise

Add an article

the exercise

show examples

one day a week at least. To sum up, even though

people

do not realize the importance of doing exercises and their negative effects, I consider that the main cases are about the availability of exercising in employment laws and

people

's awareness. So, it would be great if the government took action on it by implementing laws so that more

people

may reflect on

this

issue.

Submitted by jakieflorest on Tue Feb 16 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many working people get little or no exercise during the work day, and have health problems as a result. -Why do so many people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? -Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Nowadays, it is possible for both scientists and tourists to go to explore natural environments that are far away from the place where they live, such as the South Pole. This essay will discuss the benefits and the drawbacks of this development.

`Nowadays, a lot of information about medical conditions and illnesses is freely available on the internet. Is this a good thing or a bad thing for most people? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.