In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In today’s world, developing countries require a significant amount of financial
support
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to improve key sectors
such
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as education, health care, and infrastructure.
While
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some people believe that direct financial aid is the best way to
support
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these nations, others argue that investing in businesses can better boost their economies. I firmly believe that providing financial assistance is a more effective and flexible solution for developing communities to achieve long-term growth.
To begin
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with, financial assistance allows developing countries to allocate funds based on their specific needs and priorities. Every country has sectors that are well-developed and others that are struggling.
For instance
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, in a nation like India, the agriculture sector performs well
due to
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fertile land, but the healthcare system still lacks the necessary resources to meet growing demands.
Therefore
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, by receiving financial aid, governments can direct funds to underperforming regions and work towards improving them in a targeted way.
On the other hand
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, some people believe that developed nations should invest in businesses or start new ventures in developing nations.
This
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kind of
support
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can create jobs, improve infrastructure, and promote long-term economic growth. A good example is Japan’s partnership with India to introduce the Bullet Train, which aims to improve the country's railway system.
Although
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such
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projects help in specific sectors and create employment opportunities, they may not always address the areas that need immediate attention,
such
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as health or education. In conclusion,
while
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business investments can lead to growth in selected zones, they do not always meet the urgent needs of a developing nation. Financial assistance,
on the other hand
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, gives governments the freedom to
support
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struggling areas and build a stronger foundation for
overall
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progress.
Therefore
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, I strongly believe that providing financial aid is a more beneficial and reliable approach to helping developing countries grow.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider providing more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance the overall linguistic quality of the essay.
task response
While your points are well-supported, making sure to connect them with clear transitions will boost coherence further.
task response
The introduction effectively outlines the two sides of the argument, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes your stance.
task response
You have provided relevant examples, such as India's agriculture and healthcare sectors, which strengthen your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • migration
  • employment opportunities
  • infrastructure
  • educational access
  • healthcare services
  • cultural vibrancy
  • economic disparity
  • rural decline
  • social amenities
  • quality of life
  • job market
  • living conditions
  • remote work
  • digital economy
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