"Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?"

A sizeable amount of
children
play
computer
games
as a lot of individuals have extensive access to computers. 
This
essay will suggest that increased physical violence in
children
that engage in
computer
Add an article
a computer
show examples
game
is a huge negative impact and engaging
children
in
kid friendly
Add a hyphen
kid-friendly
show examples
computer
entertainment will reduce the unwelcome effect of
video
games
.      
Increase
Correct article usage
An increase
show examples
in physical violence amongst
children
who play
games
is the biggest negative impact. Millions of
children
who engage in
video
games
are exposed to gaming  characters  that use guns, swords, knives as part of the entertainment that the
game
provides.
Furthermore
,some
games
involve
combact
Correct your spelling
combat
,killing a character to proceed to the
next
stage and win a
price
Correct your spelling
prize
show examples
.
As a result
of
this
,
children
who are quick learners are tempted to try out these actions seen during gaming
such
as  fighting even without a trigger ,using knives in a samurai fight. These can bring about serious injuries. To illustrate , an article in the
new
Change the capitalization
New
show examples
York Times 2011 mentioned that the mortal combat
game
series triggered a series of fights amongst
children
in downtown Harlem and Queens .        A possible solution to aid
reducing
Change preposition
in reducing
show examples
the unpleasant effect would be switching
computer
games
with more mind engaging
kid friendly
Add a hyphen
kid-friendly
show examples
games
.
Games
such
as spelling bee ,chess,  scrabble should be made available and accessible in computers for youngsters because they are intellectually stimulating and would be more beneficial to their word  development as well as academics.  Japan is one country were
video
game
evolved
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,they have successfully lessened the
video
game
effect on
children
by developing more engaging educational
games
    In conclusion,  rising fury in youngsters is one of the negative
impact
Change to a plural noun
impacts
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
  playing
computer
games
,a possible solution would be to provide more intellectually stimulating educational
games
already utilised by countries like Japan.
Submitted by Florence on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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