It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as south pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages

Throughout the world, it is increasing the number of
people
who use mobile phones applications and solutions to pay for things.
This
essay will discuss some
benfits
Correct your spelling
benefits

The word benfits is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

and negative effects of
this
phenomenon and explain why the advantages overcome the disadvantages.
To begin
with, digital payment solutions tend to be more vulnerable to hackers and virtual scams.
Therefore
, as the number of
people
using
this
technology
increases,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
more scammers will be attracted to
this
area and more digital attacks will happen.
For instance
, in the United States, the financial system loses more than a billion dollars each year due to attack of hackers and malicious
softwares
Correct your spelling
software

The word softwares is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

.
Furthermore
, conservative business owners might have difficulty to adapt their model of business to accept modern methods of payment.
Nevertheless
, the more
people
using mobile phone apps for payment, the more safety standards will be created to maintain technological tools working properly and prevent hackers from
stoling
Correct your spelling
stealing
stalling

The word stoling is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

people
’s
money
. The increase
of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
demand could
also
coud
Correct your spelling
could

The word coud is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

elevate the likelihood of developing new technologies once specialized
people
would be attracted to
this
field.
Moreover
, it is
also
true that cutting edge
technology
facilitates
people
’s life and using apps to pay for things could reduce the necessity of carrying
paper based
Add a hyphen
paper-based

It appears that paper based is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
money
.
Consequently
, governments could diminish the cost of printing paper
money
. To summarize,
althouth
Correct your spelling
although

The word althouth is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

there are some drawbacks regarding the usage of mobile phones
technology
to make payments, those negative effects pale in comparison to its benefits. Not only more
technology
could be developed with the increase of the demand but
also
cutting edge
technology
could facilitate
people
’s
life
Replace the word
lives

The word life doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
and reduce the government cost of printing paper
money
.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Try other services:

All the services are free for Premium users