IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Multicultural societies, in which there is a mixture of different ethnic peoples, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#societies #mixture #peoples #country
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Mix cultural societies have enormous benefits than disadvantages. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion because
such
Linking Words
nations
Use synonyms
 with multicultural
people
Use synonyms
 grow socially as well as economically.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it helps in social development.
People
Use synonyms
 from different cultures have a sense of learning
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 others
culture
Use synonyms
. They initiate and
exprees
Correct your spelling
express
 their interest to each other to learn their
culture
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 way they start conversation and exchange
ideas
Use synonyms
. The communication among them become good.
This
Linking Words
further
Linking Words
 result
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 regular sharing of notions and
ideas
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent survey state that in the desire of learning each
others
Change to a genitive case
other's
show examples
 cultures
people
Use synonyms
 become friends.
Hence
Linking Words
, gradually relationships become strong and
nations
Use synonyms
 grow socially.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
nations
Use synonyms
 groom economically because
people
Use synonyms
 from different
culture
Use synonyms
 have their own unique
ideas
Use synonyms
 to boost the economy and
business
Use synonyms
 techniques.
People
Use synonyms
 from different
culture
Use synonyms
 have unique talents. They have different
stratergies
Correct your spelling
strategies
 to run their
business
Use synonyms
. If they exchange
ideas
Use synonyms
 and guide each other,
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
 becomes economically strong.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent article by an
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
 newspaper state that countries like Canada which has
population
Add an article
a population
show examples
 from different
nations
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 growing rapidly because they are learning
business
Use synonyms
 skills from each other.
Therefore
Linking Words
, multicultural countries are beneficial to grow economically. In conclusion, multicultural societies are good for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economical as well as social welfare. These
nations
Use synonyms
 are growing because by share
ideas
Use synonyms
 they are becoming close to each other and exchanging
business
Use synonyms
ideas
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Priya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • multiculturalism
  • cultural diversity
  • economic prosperity
  • social cohesion
  • integration
  • cultural assimilation
  • ethnic diversity
  • cultural exchange
  • global influence
  • inclusive governance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: