Multicultural societies, in which there is a mixture of different ethnic peoples, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#societies #mixture #peoples #country

Mix cultural societies have enormous benefits than disadvantages. I completely agree with

this

notion because

such

nations

with multicultural

people

grow socially as well as economically.

Firstly

, it helps in social development.

People

from different cultures have a sense of learning

for

Change preposition

from

show examples

others

culture

. They initiate and

exprees

Correct your spelling

express

their interest to each other to learn their

culture

This

way they start conversation and exchange

ideas

. The communication among them become good.

This

further

result

in to

Join the words

into

show examples

regular sharing of notions and

ideas

For instance

, a recent survey state that in the desire of learning each

others

Change to a genitive case

other's

show examples

cultures

people

become friends.

Hence

, gradually relationships become strong and

nations

grow socially.

Secondly

nations

groom economically because

people

from different

culture

have their own unique

ideas

to boost the economy and

business

techniques.

People

from different

culture

have unique talents. They have different

stratergies

Correct your spelling

strategies

to run their

business

. If they exchange

ideas

and guide each other,

nation

Correct article usage

the nation

show examples

becomes economically strong.

For instance

, a recent article by an

english

Change the capitalization

English

show examples

newspaper state that countries like Canada which has

population

Add an article

a population

show examples

from different

nations

Change the verb form

are

show examples

growing rapidly because they are learning

business

skills from each other.

Therefore

, multicultural countries are beneficial to grow economically. In conclusion, multicultural societies are good for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

economical as well as social welfare. These

nations

are growing because by share

ideas

they are becoming close to each other and exchanging

business

ideas

Submitted by Priya on Sun Feb 21 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

230 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

multiculturalism
cultural diversity
economic prosperity
social cohesion
integration
cultural assimilation
ethnic diversity
cultural exchange
global influence
inclusive governance

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Multicultural societies, in which there is a mixture of different ethnic peoples, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

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