Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that free social
activities
should be a mandatory part of high
school
programs. While
students
who take part in these
activities
may face some unexpected issues, I agree that educators should design required
community
services
for their high
school
students
without any payments. On the one hand, the most considerable trouble that affects
students
when participating in public
activities
is the shortage of time. Particularly, they may be less focused on their core lessons in class, even lack leisure time because of spending too much time on
community
services
.
Besides
, there are obligatory
services
which do not suit
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
everyone.
For example
, working for a charity in mountainous places or suburban areas requires
students
to have to go far away or teaching sports to younger children at outdoor stadium demands
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun health in your sentence. Consider removing it.

show examples
good health. All of these types of work do not fit
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the weak girls or unhealthy
students
.
On the other hand
, attending unpaid public
services
will bring great benefits to high
school
students
.
Firstly
, these programs create a positive environment for
students
to be raised in a holistic way, not only improving their social knowledge but
also
motivate their perception about
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
outdoor life.
This
is really an appropriate method to train them on how to work for the interest of
community
Correct article usage
the community

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
instead
of living only for themselves.
Secondly
, taking part in public
activities
such
as volunteer campaigns and charity organizations is a highlighted point which makes their resume brilliant. If an applicant who has the same qualification, as well as experiences with other candidates, would like to apply for a scholarship or a competitive job, his past
activities
for the interest of the
community
may make an outstanding contribution in helping him defeat the others. In conclusion,
although
there are some disadvantages, it seems to me that we should design more unpaid obligatory
community
programs for high
school
students
.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Try other services:

All the services are free for Premium users