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Writing Samples
Band 6

Using a computer everyday can have more negative than positive effect on young children To what extent do you agree and disagree with this opinion ?

#computer #effect #children
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Use synonyms
Computer
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The computer
A computer
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 has become
neccessity
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necessity
necessary
 for today's generation, without
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use
Add an article
the use
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 of technology it is almost impossible to complete everyday tasks. Operating
computers
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 daily could cause
dangerous
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a dangerous
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 impact on growing
kids
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 rather than providing benefit. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 point to some extent, as using
computers
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 have both pros and cons,
follwing
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following
 is explained in detail.
Firstly
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, in
this
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 modern era of technology daily
use
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 of
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computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
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 is almost unavoidable because
kids
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 are getting
homeworks
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homework
, school assignments and
othe
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other
 academic activities that can be completed on systems only.
Moreover
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 in the pandemic situation due to COVID-19 and lockdown students are getting online distance learning and
that is
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 not possible without
computer
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use
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
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,
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use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of
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computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
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 at
early
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an early
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 age provides many skills
to
Verify preposition usage
for
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 young
kids
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 that will surely help them to
acheive
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achieve
 their goals easily in
this
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competetive
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competitive
 society.
For instance
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, it is not difficult for children now even in developing countries like Pakistan to communicate effectively by email,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 was not possible without
Use synonyms
use
Add an article
the use
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 of
computers
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.
On the other hand
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, there are so many disadvantages of
computer
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use
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 at
early
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an early
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 age like
kids
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 can reach every site available on
internet
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the internet
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that is
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 not appropriate for them, that can lead to so many social
promlems
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problems
.
Cyber bullying
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Cyberbullying
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 is one of the hot
topic
Change to a plural noun
topics
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 these days due to
wide
Correct article usage
the wide
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 range
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use
Change preposition
of use
show examples
 of
computers
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 by
kids
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.
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Further more
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Furthermore
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, frequent usage of
computers
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 and other
gudgets
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gadgets
specially
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especially
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 for video games can have many injurious health
effctts
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effects
, including
eye sight
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eyesight
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 problem, spine
issuses
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issues
 due to
same
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the same
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 posture for
long
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a long
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 time.
For example
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, one research published in world
magzine
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magazine
,
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apply
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 reported that more than 70% of children who are using
computers
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 more than 6 hours per day are suffering from spine problems. To conclude
this
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, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 there should be some check and balance by parents and teachers as well in relation to
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use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of
computers
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 by young children. There must be some fixed time allocated for
screen
Add an article
the screen
a screen
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 like not more
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then
Replace the word
than
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 three hours per day with proper seating position and lighting around. Sites that are not suitable for
kids
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 should
locked
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be locked
lock
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 by putting passwords
Submitted by drhaleema on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cyber safety
  • screen time
  • cognitive development
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • social isolation
  • digital literacy
  • interactive learning
  • virtual communication
  • physical well-being
  • academic performance
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