IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Logging of the rain forests is a serious problem and it may lead to the extiction of animal life and human life. Do you agree or disagree?

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One of the major problems is deforestation which has a devastating effect on human and animal life. Cutting down the forests might result in the destruction of habitats and food resources, I strongly agree with
this
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 statement. Admittedly,
rainforests
Use synonyms
 depleted over the years which leads to the extinction of the animals regarding the loss of habitat.
This
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 means that birds or insects live in the spaces of the
trees
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 since logging these
trees
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 contributes to the loss of their houses.
According to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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scientists, if animals settle down in another place before cutting, they are not able to live new place;
as a result
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, they could die.
Furthermore
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,
rainforests
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 are a major contributor to the food for their wildlife. As an example, squirrels live in every green forest(mainly hazelnut
trees
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) in Canada and they eat these products of
trees
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, after logging projects there, they could not find any nutrition, which led to a significant decline in the number of them. With regard to the effects on humanity, one of the obvious causes is that
rainforests
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 play a crucial role in economic growth.
In other words
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, deforestation contributes to the depletion of resources, which
convert
Verb problem
makes
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 the country depend on the others.
For instance
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, over the past decades, Azerbaijan chopped down their
trees
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 in order to make a profit, and unsustainable forest management has led to depending on the
Use synonyms
trees
Fix the agreement mistake
tree
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 exporters countries.
Additionally
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, forests are the main producer of oxygen,
with
Change preposition
apply
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absorbing carbon dioxide. Their destruction raises the amount of carbon gasses, which leads to climate change.
Hence
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,
this
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 phenomenon has a profound impact on not only humans but
also
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 biodiversity. In conclusion, cutting off the
rainforests
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influences
Verb problem
apply
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detrimentally to habitat and nourishment of animals, I am of the opinion that
this
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 could lead to climate change and economic instability.

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coherence cohesion
Enhance clarity by structuring paragraphs more distinctly, ensuring each paragraph has a single clear main idea.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or data to support the points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly states your stance, presenting a focused response to the topic.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as squirrel habitats in Canada and Azerbaijan's economic dependency, which illustrate your arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow in your arguments, moving from the impact on animals to the human dimension, which aids clarity.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • deforestation
  • biodiversity
  • sustainable
  • ecosystem
  • carbon emissions
  • indigenous communities
  • sustainable forest management
  • desertification
  • ecological balance
  • water cycle
  • carbon dioxide absorption
  • habitat destruction
  • environmental degradation
  • climate change impact
  • economic losses
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