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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many feel that going to the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#gym #methods
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Although
 some suppose that doing exercise in sports places is the most effective to keep fit, others, including myself, uphold that there are more effective approaches. In the following essay, I will investigate both views and I
also
 express my opinion. On the one hand, some claim that the
gym
 is the most effective way to keep fit.
Firstly
, doing physical activity in the
gym
 helps
people
 burn fat. Working out and practising,regardless of age and gender,in sports places increases heartbeat, leading to burning fat and a healthy lifestyle. Burning fat is a key factor contributing to staying fit. Doing exercise whether it is vigorous or low-impact can strengthen well-being and stamina.
Therefore
, going to the
gym
 regularly is instrumental for staying fit and healthy.
On the other hand
, there is an idea, which I
also
 side with, that there are other methods which are more effective than going to the
gym
. I agree that having a healthy
diet
 is far more effective than physical activity. A balanced
diet
 can improve
people
's physical state, and keep them in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good shape. Doing vigorous exercises without considering what we eat is not as effective as we expect. Research findings confirm that the most effective factor in staying fit is having a
diet
 full of nutrients and low amounts of fat and sugar. Eventually, good and healthy nutrition
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
show examples
people
's fitness level to a great extent more than any other factors.
To sum up
, some
people
 see the
gym
 as the most effective method for keeping fit
whereas
 others maintain that there are more effective methods.
Nevertheless
, in my opinion, I believe that having a healthy and balanced
diet
 is more effective than physical
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
.
Submitted by sobi on

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task achievement
Ensure a clear stance is presented in the introduction and concluded effectively in the conclusion. This will reinforce your argument and make the essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing techniques to link ideas more smoothly and clearly. This will enhance the readability and flow of your essay.
task achievement
Incorporate more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. This will add depth to your essay and demonstrate a wider understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical well-being
  • prime option
  • structured exercise routines
  • professional equipment
  • fostering an environment
  • motivation and discipline
  • counter-argument
  • outdoor activities
  • home workouts
  • cost-effectiveness
  • social and emotional satisfaction
  • team sports
  • hybrid approach
  • holistic approach
  • comprehensive benefits
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