Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considere to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children .What are its causes and what solutions can be offered

#children #diseases #considere #adults #obesity #disease

New generation

children

are increasingly facing health issues across all nations. Diseases like

obesity

which were once seen in adults are quite common in modern

children

these days.

This

essay will discuss the causes and solutions that can be offered for

such

a global problem.

First

of all, changing

food

habits & preparation method is one of the reasons for

this

issue ,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

Secondly

Add a comma

,Secondly

show examples

food

preferences have changed and dependency on restaurants has increased due to the time constraints, as both parents are working. Instant meals, processed tin

foods

and

also

an online delivery option at convenience pushed people away from traditional homely and healthy eating habits. As globalisation increased, restaurants started offering multi cuisines and

children

’s love for foreign

foods

has increased.

Thirdly

junk meals and carbonated drinks have put

children

obesity

. While consuming them, it is necessary that

children

should have physical activities. But due to technological advancement, they are addicted to gadgets and confined

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

indoors with less or no physical activities.

To begin

with

Add a comma

,with

show examples

the solutions that can be offered;

firstly

, follow

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

traditional healthy eating and preparation habits which will limit

obesity

to an extent. In the

second

place, parents should reduce the dependency on restaurants and provide healthy home-made snacks.

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

children

should be given awareness about

foods

that contain preservatives/additives, high calorie and sugar. They should

also

be taught

Change preposition

about

show examples

natural habitat eating according to their climate.

Thirdly

scheduling a fixed time every day for outdoor activities will help to avoid a sedentary lifestyle.

Finally

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should

also

take measures through

food

safety standards authority and can impose

tax

Add an article

a tax

show examples

on junk

foods

so as to limit their intake in

children

, encourage schools to introduce sports incentive thereby motivating kids to participate As the saying goes “we are what we eat”,

children

should be given awareness on how

food

and health

Change the verb form

are

show examples

interconnected in lifestyle diseases like

obesity

and others along with

importance

Add an article

the importance

show examples

of physical fitness. Because

children

are assets of a nation and our future citizens to build a healthy society & nation.

Submitted by rju5294 on Thu Feb 25 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

340 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considere to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children .What are its causes and what solutions can be offered

Fully explain your ideas

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays crime movies, programmes and TV series are extremely popular. What do you think is the reason for this? What effects do these films have on our society? Give your own opinion and examples.

nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep what are problems caused by lack of sleep? what can be done about this lack of sleep?

Nowadays, more and more people want to get things done instantly (services, information, tasks). Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The diagram shows the process for recycling plastic bottles. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons whrere relevant.