IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a negative or positive development?

#countries #consumers #supermarket #food #world #development
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Today,
people
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 are able to purchase foods which are produced in other parts of the world. I believe that,
while
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this
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 fact can have negative points
such
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 as changes in the taste of
people
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, and profit-loss for
food
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 producers, there are positive items
such
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 as improvements in diet and economy which are more beneficial for society. First and foremost, the most important drawback is the new challenges which will be generated for
food
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 factories. In fact, the distribution of foreign
meals
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 creates competition in the market, and the producers should release the newest ones to obtain more share of sailing.
Furthermore
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, strange nourishments might change the taste of
people
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 completely.
For example
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, Korean dishes are trends in social media platforms among teenagers these days , and they are reluctant to traditional ones.
On the other hand
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, importing different
meals
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 injects money into the economy. Since the sellers of supermarkets unveil the variety of products, and earn more income in comparison to the past.
In addition
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, foreign dishes provide a chance to be familiar with other dietary habits in other nations.
That is
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, novelty seekers try other flavours simply.
Moreover
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, diversity of
meals
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 leads to enriching the diet of individuals . In fact, human beings can utilize the nutritious substances of other
meals
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.
For instance
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, in Iran, using Chinese
food
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 to benefit from endless protein sources is really common. In conclusion,
although
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 the presence of
food
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 from other countries can be against
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food
Correct article usage
the food
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 industry and the tastes of
people
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, it provides an opportunity to improve dietary habits and develop the economic climate.
Therefore
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, I strongly think that the positive side outweighs the negative side.
Submitted by raha.roham1994 on

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task achievement
While the essay presents a clear stance and covers both positive and negative aspects, it could benefit from more in-depth analysis and discussion for each point. For example, elaborate more on how the introduction of foreign foods affects local economies and dietary habits.
coherence cohesion
The essay should ensure a more logical flow between paragraphs. There are points where the transitions are abrupt. Consider using more cohesive devices and linking phrases to enhance the smoothness of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the writer's stance.
task achievement
The ideas presented are relevant to the topic and are supported with specific examples, adding credibility to the arguments made.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
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