IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

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With the growing age of
children
Use synonyms
, it becomes extremely important for parents to monitor their activities and in many countries, rules have been laid down which
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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 it mandatory for
children
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 to either stay home or be accompanied by adults in order to go out at a certain time of the day
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 at
night
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will elucidate my views
of
Change preposition
on
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 considering the advantages of imposing regulations on teens going out at
night
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. To embark upon, the idea of going out at
night
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 gives rise to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 common concern regarding
safely
Replace the word
safety
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. Because during the
night
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 there are umpteen antisocial elements elevating the risk of criminal activities which they might consider a part of having fun.
For example
Linking Words
, A survey conducted by the
times
Capitalize word
Times
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 concludes that 70%of the crimes are conducted after the sun goes down.
Therefore
Linking Words
, Teenagers are innocent and unaware of the disastrous incidents that might happen.
In addition
Linking Words
, adolescents may get habitual to the nightlife, which is the soul of countries like the US and
waste
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wastes
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 their time rather than spending it on self-development activities.
Although
Linking Words
 it is good to go to parties once in a
while
Linking Words
, getting addicted could ruin the grades and hinder the personal growth of young
children
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, research conducted on high school students
Change preposition
in
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of
Change preposition
in
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 Colombia
Correct your spelling
proves
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prooves
Correct your spelling
proves
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 that teens
Wrong verb form
have
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having
Wrong verb form
have
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 a highly active social life are observed to have depreciating grades.
Hence
Linking Words
, teenagers must be regulated and guided in the correct direction. In conclusion, It is highly thoughtful of the US government to enforce regulations on the nightlife of youth and
this
Linking Words
 is
also
Linking Words
 assisting adults to control their growing
children
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. In my perspective, the actions of adolescents require monitoring and imposing a
night
Use synonyms
 curfew could be an initiative to facilitate their safety and security.

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task response
Ensure that the supporting examples are directly relevant to the points being made.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider variety of linking words and cohesive devices to improve the flow of ideas and coherence.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and fluently.
grammatical range
Use a wider range of sentence structures and pay attention to subject-verb agreement and word order.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enforce
  • juvenile
  • repercussions
  • autonomy
  • adolescence
  • paternalistic
  • delinquency
  • municipality
  • ordinance
  • authoritarian
  • peer pressure
  • social dynamics
  • civil liberties
  • community policing
  • preventative measures
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