Everyone should stay in school until the age of eighteen. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school #age #eighteen

In the modern world, the tendency to develop the educational process has seen a long-term gradual increase. While some argue that people should

persue

Correct your spelling

pursue

their educational path till the age of eighteen, I completely disagree with

this

statement. The following essay will examine other beneficial options for the young, which they can choose even after

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

secondary

school

To begin

with, nowadays there is a variety of learning establishments, which offer different programmes to attend, and it is possible to focus closely on a specific subject for their students.

In other words

, a pupil can choose a strict way to develop

instead

of following a general curriculum at

school

, so it will probably help him to be more successful while searching for a job in the future. As a case in point, in Russia, a multitude of educational organisations are available after

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

secondary

school

, and almost all of them have a specific learning plan in a unique area.

Thus

, Russian pupils have the possibility to allocate two years of their life to a sphere, which are more interesting for them.

In addition

, another beneficial option for

school

learners is to apply for an internship after their sixteens, and

this

could drastically boost their practical knowledge. To put it differently, students can shift their emphasis

Verify preposition usage

show examples

gaining specific skills and experience, which will be useful for their future job. To illustrate

this

, the well-known organisation "Work and Travel" offers many types of temporary jobs in the USA for their members, where they can obtain the valued practical background, as well as improve their English skills. As per my view, it is more significant for a young person to get experience to communicate with

foreigneers

Correct your spelling

foreigners

or to tackle real complications than sitting through lessons in

school

. In conclusion, whereas there is an opinion that students must not leave their

school

until their eighteens, I totally believe that they have many efficient ways to opt for. As for me, it is more practical to move to a college in order to obtain knowledge from a

choosen

Correct your spelling

chosen

sphere or start working

temporary

Change the adjective

temporarily

show examples

because it will

substanially

Correct your spelling

substantially

help

Correct pronoun usage

me to

show examples

find a brilliant job in the future.

Submitted by marie.pissanova on Sat Feb 27 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

362 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Everyone should stay in school until the age of eighteen. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Many people think that the government should spend more money on providing faster means of public transport. Some others think that there are important priorities(e.g.cost, environment). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many countries have embraced tourism as a way to boost their economies and create jobs for local residents. However, some argue that tourism can have negative impacts on the environment and local cultures. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism for a country?

The development of tourism has contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think that this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?

13.Today, some food travels thousands of miles from farms to consumers. Some people think that it would be better to our environment and economy if people only eat locally produced food. To what extent do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?