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Band 6

Everyone should stay in school until the age of eighteen. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school #age #eighteen
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In the modern world, the tendency to develop the educational process has seen a long-term gradual increase. While some argue that people should
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
 their educational path till the age of eighteen, I completely disagree with
this
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 statement. The following essay will examine other beneficial options for the young, which they can choose even after
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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secondary
school
Use synonyms
.
To begin
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 with, nowadays there is a variety of learning establishments, which offer different programmes to attend, and it is possible to focus closely on a specific subject for their students.
In other words
Linking Words
, a pupil can choose a strict way to develop
instead
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 of following a general curriculum at
school
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, so it will probably help him to be more successful while searching for a job in the future. As a case in point, in Russia, a multitude of educational organisations are available after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
secondary
school
Use synonyms
, and almost all of them have a specific learning plan in a unique area.
Thus
Linking Words
, Russian pupils have the possibility to allocate two years of their life to a sphere, which are more interesting for them.
In addition
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, another beneficial option for
school
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 learners is to apply for an internship after their sixteens, and
this
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 could drastically boost their practical knowledge. To put it differently, students can shift their emphasis
to
Verify preposition usage
on
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 gaining specific skills and experience, which will be useful for their future job. To illustrate
this
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, the well-known organisation "Work and Travel" offers many types of temporary jobs in the USA for their members, where they can obtain the valued practical background, as well as improve their English skills. As per my view, it is more significant for a young person to get experience to communicate with
foreigneers
Correct your spelling
foreigners
 or to tackle real complications than sitting through lessons in
school
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, whereas there is an opinion that students must not leave their
school
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 until their eighteens, I totally believe that they have many efficient ways to opt for. As for me, it is more practical to move to a college in order to obtain knowledge from a
choosen
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chosen
 sphere or start working
temporary
Change the adjective
temporarily
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 because it will
substanially
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substantially
 help
to
Correct pronoun usage
me to
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 find a brilliant job in the future.
Submitted by marie.pissanova on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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