Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
There has been contentious debate on the effective methods of improving public
health
. While
,
one school of thought asserts that Remove the comma
apply
sport
centres indulge positive Change the noun form
sports
lifestyle
others believe that it needs to be supported by other preventive measures. Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
This
essay will examine both perspectives before presenting a clear viewpoint.
Its
is undeniable that Correct pronoun usage
It
facilites
Correct your spelling
facilities
such
as gyms, outdoor courts or swimming pools can significantly influences
one's Change the verb form
influence
health
. These sport
venues encourage individuals to participate in distinctive physical activities which could improve physics, heart Change the noun form
sports
health
, stamina
and Correct word choice
and stamina
strengthens
muscles and bones. A prime example of physical and mental Correct subject-verb agreement
strengthen
wellbeing
can be seen in people who attend regular Yoga classes. Recently in a newspaper, Correct your spelling
well-being
an elder women
aged 98 Correct the article-noun agreement
elder women
an elder woman
got
interviewed Verb problem
was
who
provided sheer credit to the fitness classes for her Correct word choice
and
wellbeing
.
Correct your spelling
well-being
Nevertheless
some refute Add a comma
Nevertheless,
this
claim, claiming that the human body not
merely rely on physical fitness and that a balanced Change the verb form
does not
did not
diet
is required as well. Proponet
of Correct your spelling
Proponents
this
view assert that choosing healthy food options are
viable for Correct subject-verb agreement
is
well-conditioned
body. Correct article usage
a well-conditioned
For example
, if a person is fully-concentrated
on exercising without the proper intake of Correct your spelling
fully concentrated
Correct article usage
a nutritioned
nutritioned
Correct your spelling
nutrition
nutritional
diet
it could be complex maintaining
robust Change the verb form
to maintain
health
. As far as my opinion is concerned, the combination of both Correct article usage
a nutritioned
nutritioned
Correct your spelling
nutrition
nutritional
diet
and fitness
routine is compulsory.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
a fitness
while
there are differing views on what method is appropriate for sound
body- some Correct article usage
a sound
emphasixing
innate complete workout and others focusing on Correct your spelling
emphasizing
emphasising
Correct article usage
a banaced
banaced
Correct your spelling
balanced
diet
as well- I believe that these factors are not mutually exclusive. Instead
they are complementary drivers that work hand in hand.Add a comma
Instead,
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task achievement
Ensure to provide a clear introduction that directly addresses the essay question. While your introduction covers both views, it could be more specific about the stance you will take in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more fluidly. This will help improve the overall coherence and make your arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
Ensure all points are well-supported with relevant examples. Consider adding more elaboration or evidence to substantiate your claims, particularly in the paragraph discussing the ineffectiveness of sports facilities alone.
task achievement
You provide a balanced discussion of both perspectives on the topic, which shows a clear understanding of the essay question.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and offers a clear opinion, which is crucial for achieving a high score in cohesion and coherence.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as the elderly woman attributing her wellbeing to fitness classes, adds depth to your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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