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Band 5.5

airplanes use more fuel and cause more pollution than car do.in such a case ,nonessential air travel should be discouraged in order to make the environment better rather than limiting the car use ,to wat extent do you agree

#airplanes #fuel #pollution #car #case #air #travel #environment #wat
These days, the distance between the relatives and friends who live thousands of miles apart diminished by the use of different modes of transportations, especially
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aeroplanes. Even if these means of transport lesson the
travel
 time, pollution is
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 major concern.
A
Change the article
An
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 argument that to avoid unnecessary
air
travel
,
for
Change preposition
apply
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it
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
 the emission of hazardous gases and more effective than restricting car uses. I partially agreed with
this
 statement. To start with, flights become
more
Correct article usage
a more
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 convenient
travel
 method because it not
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
. Even though it
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
 more fossil oil and causes
air
 pollution
assist
Add the particle
to assist
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern man to explore the world as well as expand
the
Correct article usage
apply
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business worldwide.
For example
, most of the employees who worked in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 multinational company
travel
 frequently. These type of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 can’t depend on
other mode
Change the wording
another mode
other modes
show examples
 of transport. If they could not attend a meeting with their stakeholders or partners in time, which leads to business loss. In these aspect
air
 transport as
in
Correct the word
an
show examples
 essential part of
this
fast moving
Add a hyphen
fast-moving
show examples
 world.
Furthermore
 exploring
world
Add an article
the world
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 for any reason
such
 as tourism, business, education, immigration or migration
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
enriches individual experience and lifestyle. For
these
Change the determiner
this
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 type of
travel
 cars
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
comfortable or effective vehicle.
Moreover
, limiting the car journey leads to a massive reduction in
air
 contamination. Though compared with flights it
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
 less fuel, it is not an effective
methods
Correct the article-noun agreement
method
show examples
 to
travel
 inter-continents. To conclude, the merits of using aeroplanes overweigh that its demerits, it is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 effective way to
travel
 distances than cars which a
useful
Replace the word
user
show examples
 only for shorter distances.
Submitted by kikky on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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