IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

some people think that the best way to reduce time spent in traveling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #work #parks #gardens #city #center #apartment #buildings #commuters
The urbanization of the city has brought both advantages and disadvantages.
People
 have to spend more and more
time
 travelling to and from
work
 because of the expansion of cities. Some
people
 suggest that apartment buildings should be planted near the city
centre
 to replace the parks and gardens. I think
people
 should take more consideration of
this
 idea. On the one hand, if
this
 idea can be well carried out, it could effectively reduce the commuting
time
 for many workers. Living in the apartment buildings close to
work
 can help save a lot of
time
 since the commuters do not have to spend too much
time
 travelling. They can even walk to their offices,
therefore
 they are no longer troubled by the heavy traffic in big cities on their way to and from
work
.
On the other hand
,
however
, residences and workers might be bothered by other things. Since many
people
 live just near the
centre
, it obviously causes too much pressure for it. Just imagine what the
centre
 would look like when millions of
people
 moved in or out of the numerous apartment buildings. The
centre
 would become more crowded and polluted than before. What’s more,
people
 still need parks and garden for entertainment, and they have to spend even more
time
, maybe a few hours or even longer, to travel to a place for taking a little rest. In the long term,
people
 are not able to find the pleasure
that is
 so important for their
work
 and life, and the benefits they get from shortened travelling
time
 would be undone. In summary, there are some better measures that could be used to solve
this
 issue.
For example
, using advanced telecommunication technologies at
work
. So workers can
work
 from home, which reduces their commuting
time
.
Submitted by michiamo_r on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • commuters
  • urban areas
  • housing availability
  • alleviating housing crises
  • public transport
  • traffic congestion
  • environmental health
  • biodiversity
  • recreational
  • mental health benefits
  • urban heat islands
  • green lungs
  • community interaction
  • cohesion
  • innovative urban planning
  • multi-use buildings
What to do next:
Look at other essays: