IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The opinion is that someone's success mostly comes from fortune rather than effort.
However
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, I completely disagree with
this
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 viewpoint. I believe that only determined and hard-working people are successful in all of their work. Industrious individuals often achieve their targets.
For instance
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, Steve Jobs dedicated thousands of hours to coding and researching so as to create the wonderful Macintosh operating system that we use nowadays. Another obvious story is Nick Vujicic, an Australian motivational speaker, who has suffered from a rare disease that resulted in the absence of four limbs. Despite not having any legs or arms, Vujicic still graduated from the university with a
bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
 degree with a double major in accountancy and financial planning; he got married and currently travels around the world in order to inspire as a motivational speaker.
On the other hand
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,
by contrast
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, luck just accounts for a small part in deciding one’s achievement.
Initially
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, individuals might not just rely on fortune to become successful. If students don't study hard with the aim of preparing for the exam, they will fail, no matter how lucky they are.
Secondly
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, luck is only meaningful in a short period.
For instance
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, winning the lottery absolutely depends on fortune because there is no requirement of effort.
This
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 totally depends on luck,
however
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, one cannot win the lottery for the rest of their life. In conclusion, for all the reasons that I have stated above, I completely believe that to achieve goals in life, one ought to follow their dreams to the end.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that directly relates to your argument. This will help improve your logical structure.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve how you connect your ideas. Use linking words or phrases to help your ideas flow better from one sentence to the next.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas more. Provide more examples or explanations to support your main points. This can help make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive.
task achievement
Consider adding a few more personal insights or broader examples to strengthen your arguments. This will make your essay more engaging and complete.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion on the topic and supported it with relevant examples.
task achievement
Your examples are strong and help to illustrate your points well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • diligence
  • consistent effort
  • inherent talent
  • honing skills
  • external factors
  • upbringing
  • social connections
  • economic background
  • right place at the right time
  • contributing factor
  • conjunction
  • success
  • achievements
  • endeavors
  • fortune
  • serendipity
  • determinants
  • efficacy
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