IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Financially developed
nations
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 usually give currency
support
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 to poorer
nations
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, but
this
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 will not help to resolve the financial
problems
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 of the weaker
nations
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.
Hence
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, strong
nations
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 should give different types of
benefits
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 to the weaker
nations
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instead
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 of wealth
benefits
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.
This
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 essay will agree with the statement. In my opinion, providing financial
support
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 is
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an
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only temporary relief for the poorer
nations
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 and they need
support
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 on various other aspects like
health
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 and education which help them to fix their
problems
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 forever. The financial
support
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 from the rich
nations
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 will help the poor
nations
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 to solve their
problems
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 for time being because these
nations
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 are not capable enough to generate their own revenue with the
support
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 they got and they will end up utilizing
this
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 money to fulfil their basic needs
such
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 as food and clearing the loans to other
nations
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.
For example
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, many counties in the African continent receive
benefits
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 from several rich
nations
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, but nothing helped them to solve their
problems
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 of
health
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, wealth, and generating their own currency. The only thing that they could do with these
benefits
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 in solving the hunger
problem
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 for a few years or months.
This
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 will clearly help us to understand that all these financial
benefits
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 are only temporary
benefits
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 and will not help them in the long run. Despite rich
nations
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 should the countries in need with various other supports like providing the education and
health
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benefits
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 which will help them more, as these
benefits
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 solve their
problems
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 from roots.
For example
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, it is common that poor
nations
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 lack the skill set to develop their country as people will tend to migrate more to the developed
nations
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 due to lack of opportunities with in the country, and
this
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 eventually makes them fail as they do not have experts to guide and fight with their poverty.
Furthermore
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, most population struggle with severe
health
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 issues due to improper medical infrastructure which is a major risk to the people of these weak countries. Solving these two
problems
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 are the real
benefits
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 that they can get from rich countries. In conclusion, mostly rich
nations
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 help poor
nations
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 with financial
support
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instead
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 of addressing their actual
problem
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. Wealthy
nations
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 should provide
support
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 to poor
nations
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 in
such
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 a way that they should solve the roots of their
problem
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. I fully agree with the statement and I believe that providing educational
support
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 and
health
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benefits
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 will help them to solve their
problem
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 permanently.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
What to do next:
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