Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? what other factors contribute towards happiness?

A section of society believes that the primary reason for elating human happiness is

money

However

, in my opinion,

although

money

plays a vital role in fulfilling the needs of an individual, yet other factors are responsible for contributing to a person’s happiness and contentment.

Money

indeed helps an individual fulfil his basic needs and luxurious lifestyle desires like purchasing an expensive car, wearing branded apparel, living in a bungalow, etc.

However

, to earn an enormous amount of

money

, one tends to work for long working hours.

This

may result in stress for the person, create a rift in his social

life

, and distance him from his family. It is a proven fact that an individual who has minimal or no social

life

or is not emotionally attached to his family may undergo depression.

Thus

, even though

such

people may have the desired finances, they lack emotional contentment and joy.

On the other hand

for instance

, someone who has an earning sufficient to meet his basic daily needs but has a loving and caring family is happier than the one who has more capital. Other than

money

, multiple factors aid in instilling joy in an individual’s

life

Firstly

, one can be satisfied by working in an organisation or adopting a profession that assures

job

satisfaction and

job

security. Apart from eliminating the fear of losing his

job

, it would enable him to maintain a work-

life

balance by spending time in recreational activities like painting, playing a sport, reading, or listening to music.

Hence

, it would help an individual lead a stress-free and happy

life

. Another factor that helps an individual in leading a happy

life

is a healthy lifestyle. An individual who has adapted to healthy eating habits and daily exercising tends to remain fit and stay aloof from taking medical help. It is a fact that a healthy human body releases fluids that instil happiness.

On the other hand

, a millionaire who does not follow a healthy regime may fall prey to incurable diseases. Due to

this

suffering, he might not be able to lead a contented

life

. To sum up,

although

wealth is essential for fulfilling basic human needs, it is not the only factor that contributes to contentment. Other factors

such

job

satisfaction, family, and health are responsible for leading a happy

life

Submitted by mani13khurana on Tue Mar 02 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

387 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Promoting happiness
Essential factors
Financial stability
Material wealth
Personal fulfillment
Contentment
Basic needs
Maslow's hierarchy of needs
Social connections
Pursuing passions
Well-being
Mental health
Spiritual practices
Personal growth
Community service
Societal contribution
Philanthropy
Joy
Satisfaction
Prosperity

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Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? what other factors contribute towards happiness?

Fully explain your ideas

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and practice them with basic assistance, such as food and housing.To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed