Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness.

It is an undeniable fact that money plays a vital role in order to sustain in

this

contemporary world, which is why some individuals believe money is one of the necessary elements that can create happiness. In my opinion, I agree with the above statement and

this

essay will explain the reasoning supporting my views. To commence with, there are many reasons why currency can bring joyfulness to an individual’s life.

Firstly

, it aids in taking good care of our loved ones by purchasing products that bring cheerfulness and fulfil their dreams.

Secondly

, in order to provide a good education to your children, it is mandatory to be wealthy, which allows us to afford

such

facilities.

For example

, a person who is fond of collecting the latest electronic gadgets, which is possible only with the help of a sound bank balance.

Furthermore

, saving for the future can enable us to good financial stability, which will have a significant impact after retirement.

Additionally

such

means can assist in establishing our lifestyle to the

level and provides a highly convenient and comfortable way of living.

Lastly

, one of the common dreams among many people is getting a house for themselves, especially, with the new generation. To illustrate, organising a world tour at old-age would not be challenging with steady savings. To conclude, I would like to reiterate that financially stable situations have a positive impact on society and

also

act as a self-motivating factor, which generates more joy and delight in one’s life.

Submitted by ash.fuji2018 on Wed Mar 03 2021

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Promoting happiness
Essential factors
Financial stability
Material wealth
Personal fulfillment
Contentment
Basic needs
Maslow's hierarchy of needs
Social connections
Pursuing passions
Well-being
Mental health
Spiritual practices
Personal growth
Community service
Societal contribution
Philanthropy
Joy
Satisfaction
Prosperity

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Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness.

Your opinion

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

‎ Some young people leave the countryside to live in cities or towns, leaving only ‎older people in the countryside. What are the problems of this issue? What can ‎be done to solve this problem?‎

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras).In many cases,the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.

It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about culture and people, because people can learn from books, films, or the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The crime rate amoung teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions.