106.Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Some say that the extinction of some
animals
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and plant species is the main environmental issue,
while
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others argue that there are other more urgent environmental complications.
This
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essay will argue that
although
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the disappearance of
animals
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and
plants
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can
cause
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chaos in biodiversity and life danger,
pollution
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and climate change are major
problems
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. On the one hand, animal extinction can lead to issues in other
animals
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' life processes.
This
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is because all
animals
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have their own way of surviving, hunting, reproducing and feeding.
Then
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, the disappearance of an animal will
cause
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alteration,
such
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as an excessive amount of the food that these
animals
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ate,
while
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those
animals
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which feed on these "extinct
animals
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" will die of hunger.
Furthermore
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,
plants
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are essential for humans' lives. The reason for
this
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is that they provide oxygen, which people and other living things need to survive.
For example
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,
according to
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scientists around 300 to 500
plants
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are needed to provide oxygen to one person,
then
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if the number of
plants
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is reduced, there might not be sufficient oxygen for everyone.
However
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, I believe that by solving more urgent environmental
problems
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, these issues will be solved too.
On the other hand
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, global warming and
pollution
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lead to the destruction of ecosystems.
This
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is because changing climatic conditions
as well as
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the increasing amount of carbon dioxide caused by contamination will
cause
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scarcity in freshwater sources, food, energy resources and fuel, which all can cost humans' lives.
Also
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,
this
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issue leads to air
pollution
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, in which air quality is reduced, and
this
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causes diseases related to the respiratory system,
such
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as asthma or lung cancer. Recent research concluded that during the
last
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4 years, asthma cases in highly polluted countries, increased by approximately 31%. In my opinion, solving these complications is the key to solving all environmental
problems
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. In conclusion,
although
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the extinction of
animals
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and
plants
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can
cause
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issues to other living things and put people's lives in danger, by solving global warming and
pollution
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,
problems
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related to the environment will be solved, and I,
therefore
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, believe that
this
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point of view is more important.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic that is developed logically with supporting sentences. While the essay demonstrates good structure, there are a few jumps in logic which could be smoothed out for better flow.
task achievement
Be sure to link your introduction and conclusion directly to the question prompt, ensuring that your opinion is clear and consistent throughout the essay. The essay addresses the task well but could benefit from a clearer emphasis on the writer's stance in the introduction for better task achievement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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