106.Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Some say that the extinction of some
animals
and plant species is the main environmental issue, while
others argue that there are other more urgent environmental complications. This
essay will argue that although
the disappearance of animals
and plants
can cause
chaos in biodiversity and life danger, pollution
and climate change are major problems
.
On the one hand, animal extinction can lead to issues in other animals
' life processes. This
is because all animals
have their own way of surviving, hunting, reproducing and feeding. Then
, the disappearance of an animal will cause
alteration, such
as an excessive amount of the food that these animals
ate, while
those animals
which feed on these "extinct animals
" will die of hunger. Furthermore
, plants
are essential for humans' lives. The reason for this
is that they provide oxygen, which people and other living things need to survive. For example
, according to
scientists around 300 to 500 plants
are needed to provide oxygen to one person, then
if the number of plants
is reduced, there might not be sufficient oxygen for everyone. However
, I believe that by solving more urgent environmental problems
, these issues will be solved too.
On the other hand
, global warming and pollution
lead to the destruction of ecosystems. This
is because changing climatic conditions as well as
the increasing amount of carbon dioxide caused by contamination will cause
scarcity in freshwater sources, food, energy resources and fuel, which all can cost humans' lives. Also
, this
issue leads to air pollution
, in which air quality is reduced, and this
causes diseases related to the respiratory system, such
as asthma or lung cancer. Recent research concluded that during the last
4 years, asthma cases in highly polluted countries, increased by approximately 31%. In my opinion, solving these complications is the key to solving all environmental problems
.
In conclusion, although
the extinction of animals
and plants
can cause
issues to other living things and put people's lives in danger, by solving global warming and pollution
, problems
related to the environment will be solved, and I, therefore
, believe that this
point of view is more important.Submitted by elenazheng1211 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic that is developed logically with supporting sentences. While the essay demonstrates good structure, there are a few jumps in logic which could be smoothed out for better flow.
task achievement
Be sure to link your introduction and conclusion directly to the question prompt, ensuring that your opinion is clear and consistent throughout the essay. The essay addresses the task well but could benefit from a clearer emphasis on the writer's stance in the introduction for better task achievement.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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