IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Instead of asking the government to bear the cost of higher education, students should pay their own tuition fees themselves. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#government #cost #education #students #tuition #fees
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The funding of higher
education
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 is a focal point of contemporary societal discussions.
While
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 there is a prevailing belief that the government should subsidise all universities to ensure access for eligible
students
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, I firmly advocate that only individuals from low
socio-economic
Correct your spelling
socioeconomic
show examples
 status should be exempted from tuition fees.
Firstly
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, the staggering cost of educational costs could act as a pressure for
students
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 to approach their opportunities more seriously. If
students
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 are burdened with full financial responsibility either through personal savings or loans from relatives, they are likely to exert maximum effort to complete all courses and obtain a degree promptly. The sense of urgency, driven by the potential financial repercussions of failing exams, could be a powerful motivator that might diminish if
education
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 is freely accessible.
In addition
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, individuals pursuing advanced
education
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 who bear the sole responsibility for their tuition contribute to creating an environment where governmental financial resources become increasingly available for other levels of
education
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. As university
students
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 have reached adulthood and are capable of earning a living, they can set aside part of their income to finance their academic qualifications.
By comparison
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, primary and secondary
education
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 deserve more government expenditure as
students
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 are still deemed as minors, who are not legally permitted to work as paid employees.
On the other hand
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, it may be reasonable to make some exceptions and provide less well-off
students
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 with free
education
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. Tuition support from the government could incentivise these young
students
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 to attend college and enhance their knowledge,
thus
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 they are able to find employment in
this
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 knowledge-based economy. Without a tertiary-level qualification, they might end up working in low-paid, manual work,
while
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 their counterparts from well-off backgrounds dominate high-paying, professional jobs,
such
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 as medicine and law, which require advanced qualifications. In conclusion,
students
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 from disadvantaged backgrounds could be made exempt from academic charges,
while
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 it is not acceptable to abolish educational expenses for everyone.
Submitted by chungoc2001 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction provides a clear thesis statement that reflects a full understanding of the question's task.
task achievement
Throughout your essay, be sure to consistently address the topic, expanding on the points you have made and providing clear, pertinent examples where appropriate.
coherence cohesion
Your essay should maintain logical flow and clear progression of ideas from one paragraph to the next with appropriate use of linking phrases.
coherence cohesion
To improve cohesion, make sure each main point in your argument is supported by relevant examples or data, and that these are explained in sufficient detail.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bear the cost
  • tuition fees
  • financial management
  • taxpayer burden
  • public finances
  • allocate resources
  • social inequality
  • socio-economic disparities
  • access to higher education
  • long-term economic benefits
  • educated workforce
  • earning potentials
  • investment vs expense
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