IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many things that were used to be done at homes by hands are now being done by machines does this advantages or disadvantages

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It is argued that technology surrounds human lives in different aspects ranging from daily tasks to household chores by robots.
This
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 is an important development in
people
Use synonyms
's lives and I believe the merits of
this
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 statement outweigh its demerits. So,
this
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 essay explains the reasons for
this
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 notion.
To begin
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 with,
Firstly
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,
due to
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 the hectic pace of
life
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, folk's lives become more and harder compared to the past.
In other words
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, individuals could not take care of every
work
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 from outside to inside the house. an employee,
For example
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, has to
work
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 almost eight hours to afford
life
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 expenses and he or she cannot do household chores
as well as
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 cooking , cleaning and washing clothes.
In addition
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,
this
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 kind of housework is very
time
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-consuming and folks
instead
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 of doing
this
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work
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 can spend their
time
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 learning new things.
Therefore
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, new technologies
such
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 as robot vacuums washing machines or even dishwashers make human
life
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 easier.
Thirdly
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, as I mentioned
life
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 expenses are becoming a concern issue and
people
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 should
work
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 more and more to afford them. Meanwhile, a person who spends much of his or her
time
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 outside the house, when comes back home, they are tired and does not have enough concentration to do housework in the best way.
Hence
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, new technologies are helping
people
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 and these types of hi-gadgets are not only faster but
also
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 more accurate in tasks. Food-making robots,
for instance
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, are very precise in choosing ingredients and not wasting any of them and obviously, they are much more delicious. In conclusion, of course,
people
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 should assign their
time
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 to do household chores but I think everyone should buy and use hi-gadgets kitchen or cleaning devices.
Although
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 their prices are expensive,
people
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's
time
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 is more important and essential.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and you have attempted to explain the reasons why machines are now used to do household chores. However, you should ensure that your ideas are relevant and directly correlated to the topic. Consider providing a balanced view that includes both advantages and disadvantages if the question requires it.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an adequate logical structure, but the clarity could be improved. Your ideas should be organized more effectively with clearer topic sentences for each paragraph. Make use of a range of cohesive devices and ensure they are used correctly. Paragraphs should be well-developed with one main idea each.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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